Tag Archives: l’dor v’dor

A pair of candlesticks: A voyage across time and generations

by Steve Lipman (Forest Hills, NY)

Sometime in May, 1903, Zorach and Goldie Finkelstein, residents of Sapotskin, a heavily Jewish village in the northeast corner of Poland (now in northwest Belarus) climbed on a horse-drawn wagon, carrying their meager possessions in a few simple canvas and cardboard suitcases, and headed to the German port city of Bremen. There they boarded the SS Pennsylvania, a 13,333-gross ton passenger vessel.

Part of a wave of Jewish immigration from the Russia Empire’s one-time Pale of Settlement, the young couple left their homeland and their families, undoubtedly making the voyage to the United States in steerage, along with men and women and children from many ethnic groups.

Goldie was probably pregnant with the couple’s first child, a son, who would be named Max when he was born in Buffalo the following February.

In addition to the suitcases, which were packed with the expected clothes, and a rushnyk, a red-and-white linen table divider she had sewn five years earlier, Goldie, then in her early twenties, packed some of her most precious belongings in a parenee (the word, which was passed down in family lore, is of uncertain origin; in Polish the objects were known as a pierzyny), a large white comforter stuffed with goose feathers, which stayed in the Finkelsteins’ family for several decades.

Inside the paranee was a pair of candlesticks.

If the Finkelsteins, Yiddish-speaking Orthodox Jews who had been married five years earlier, followed the traditional practice of shtetlach in that part of the Jewish world, they most likely had received the candlesticks as a wedding gift five years before from their friends in Sapotskin.

The Finkelsteins’ style of candlesticks was typical of those owned by Orthodox Jews in their era and that part of Eastern Europe. Manufactured by the prestigious, Warsaw-based Jozef Fraget metal smith firm (founded in 1824), of hollow, galvanic sliver-plated brass (Jews were forbidden from owning silver in many parts of the empire), each stood 14 inches tall, with a detachable candle-cap that fit into a circular depression atop the candlesticks to catch paraffin droppings, and three artistic legs on the 5-inch-diameter base to give the candlesticks balance.

The candlesticks’ serial number – because of their value and popularity, the series of products was numbered – was 3340. Inside a small oval on the base of Goldie’s candlesticks: the words “FRAGET N PLAQUE,” which mean that the silver core was electroplated with a layer of pure silver.

Candlesticks like that were as common in many Jewish homes of that generation, especially those with immigrant roots, as the ubiquitous Singer sewing machine. And, in some Orthodox homes in the Greater New York area, artwork by the prolific, and eccentric, Morris Katz.

Goldie had no idea she fit a particular demographic; she simply kept the candlesticks to fulfill a Jewish woman’s mitzvah. One that her mother, and grandmother, and countless generations of women in her family had done before her with their own candlesticks. 

As she had in Sapotskin, Goldie used the candlesticks to usher in the Sabbath and important Jewish holidays in the modest home that she and her husband bought on the Jewish East Side of Buffalo (relatives had already settled there), and later, after Zorach (who took on the name Samuel in the United States) died, in the second-floor apartment of my parents’ two-story home in the city’s increasingly Jewish North Park neighborhood. Like other Jewish women, Goldie would cover her eyes with her hands as she recited the Hebrew blessing over the candles.

Sometimes her grandchildren – including me – would watch her make the brocha.

Goldie, a widow then for 20 years, died in 1968.

By rights, her candlesticks should have passed to my Aunt Hennie, the Finkelsteins’ oldest daughter, then a married resident of Rochester, an hour away, who –a kosher-keeping member of a Modern Orthodox synagogue — was more likely than my mother, Helene, married to a secular German-born Jew, to properly use them.

But Mom got the candlesticks. She had kids – three of us, while Aunt Hennie had none – and it was decided that it made more sense for a daughter who had a family, who had children to whom she could one day pass the treasured objects, to receive the candlesticks.

Mom, while by no means strictly Orthodox, grew more traditional as she grew older. She kept the pair in a prominent place of pride atop a light-brown wooden cabinet in the living room of the Lipmans’ home in North Park, then, after we moved, in the northern suburb of Tonawanda. She would, without fail, light the candles each Friday night and erev yom tov. Sometimes I and my two sisters would gather around Mom.

Dad, disinterested in things of a religious nature, would rarely join in.

As the candles burned, shrinking to differing heights, we would bet which one would go out first.

Mom, who had attended an after-school cheder decades earlier in Buffalo, had not mastered Hebrew. So she recited the l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat from memory, confidently – and incorrectly. She would say the last few words the same way each time, slurring several together into a unique rendition of lashon hakodesh; we restrained the urge to correct her, or to snicker. We understood what she was saying; I’m sure God did too.

After the blessing, Mom would say her own, personal supplications, softly, under her breath. A private conversation with the Creator. “Dear God,” she would begin, followed by “thank you” for kindnesses He had performed for her family or people in her circle of friends; or, “please take care of” ailing or deceased friends or relatives. Or other, similar words of praise or request. In other words, she would review whatever was on her mind.

Like Tevye, but with a Buffalo accent.

Then, “Good Shabbos.” And hugs.

Mom liked telling the following story about the spiritual value of the candlesticks in our family: Several decades ago she and one of her daughters had an appointment at Roswell Park Cancer Hospital, Buffalo’s famed medical center – a check-up that brought no bad news. They were walking on the cancer center’s stairs. “It was a beautiful day,” Mom remembered. Out of the blue, her daughter turned to her and said, “When you are gone, I want your candlesticks.”

Mom always told the story with a laugh. She was not offended. She was still a relatively young woman then. She understood the strong attraction of her daughter – who probably had mortality on her mind because of their presence at a cancer hospital –for the family heirlooms.

Mom said yes to her daughter’s request. In the meantime, the candlesticks remained in the Lipman home, and Mom continued using them.

In 2005 Dad died. The next year the candlesticks, carefully packed in a carry-on suitcase, went with Mom to the Houston suburb where one of my sisters had moved several decades before. There, Mom lived in an apartment, overlooking a small man-made lake, a mile from my married sister’s house.

Again, the candlesticks rested atop the wooden cabinet that had made the move with Mom to Texas.

Again, she lit the candles every week.

Again, the candlesticks shone. Mom, using some smelly pink polish, would shine them religiously, vigorously, employing a soft cloth or gloves specifically designed for that buffing purpose; or, as was more often the case, she would put one of her kids or her visiting grandchildren to work (people without sufficient elbow grease need not apply), making sure the pair gleamed so much you could almost see your reflection in them. It was not a fun assignment, but a labor of love. We all took a turn with the polishing cloth.

God forbid they should show a sign of tarnish.

A pair like that sell for $300-$500 nowadays, maybe more at auction, but to us, for sentimental reasons, they are priceless. 

The candlesticks were two of Mom’s most-prized possessions. She would make sure to hide them out of sight if a repairman was coming to her apartment or if she planned to be away for a few days. They were a symbol of her pride in being Jewish, in carrying on the tradition she had learned from her mother. They were not sleek or fashionable, which was fine with Mom. They were antiques, defiantly old-fashioned, remnants of a previous generation. They were a tactile reminder of Mom’s roots, of her long-gone relatives who brought their pride in Yiddishkeit from the shtetl environment that was a world removed from the big cities of the United States.

She would make sure that she was well stocked in candles, keeping a 72-count box at home, buying them at a Buffalo-area supermarket or sending one of her kids on a replenishment expedition when her supply was running low.

Mom was concerned about the candlesticks’ future. She made clear that, when the time came, the candlesticks would pass to a member of the family who a) was likely to use them regularly, and b) was not married then to someone who was not Jewish.

By her last few years, Mom, who died a few months ago on 12 Av, became increasingly feeble and forgetful. She no longer was in shape to light Shabbos candles; I would frequently provide her with small, battery-powered tea candles for her apartment or for the hospital rooms where she often – too often – found herself.

As Mom aged, and did not feel confident having lit candles in the apartment where she lived alone, she gave the candlesticks to the then-out-of-town daughter who had requested them decades earlier. Who uses them every week.

Goldie’s lichtern have a new home, 5,100 miles from their original home in the Old Country.

______

Steve Lipman was a staff writer for The New York Jewish Week from 1983 until 2020.

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Chana and Rafa

by Helene Berton (Centereach, NY)

Flipping over the tape, I clicked the play button and smiled when “Modern Love” came through my headphones. David Bowie was the best flying music, I decided. 

After finding the pack of gum in my overstuffed bag, I offered a stick to my mother and then unwrapped one for myself. While chewing exuberantly, I waited for my ears to snap, crackle and pop as we started our descent. Reluctantly, I clicked the stop button as the Sony Walkman couldn’t compete with the noise of the plane. “China Girl” would have to wait. China, my thoughts wandered, was the other side of the world. But then again, so was Israel, and that’s where we landed.

I looked at my mother. Even after the overnight flight, she was brimming with excitement. Why was this trip so important to her? 

*  *  * 

The girls with their machine guns slung across their backs startled me, gave me pause. I snapped a picture of them, lost in thought, winding to advance the film before taking another. 

Like a tourist, I was gaping at them as if an attraction. “Are they in the army?” I whispered to my mother.

“Yes, the IDF,” she replied as we walked down the bustling Tel Aviv street.

“I’m surprised so many girls want to join.”

“It’s mandatory. Everyone goes directly from high school into the military,” she explained to me.

Mandatory? I thought of myself after high school graduation planning my great escape to college. All the stress and drama of roommates, meal plans, and boyfriends dominated my life that summer before I left. I heard my voice complaining that I had to take the bus when most of my friends had cars of their own. Meanwhile, these girls were nonchalantly strolling along with their machine guns, chatting in the sunshine with their cups of coffee. I suddenly felt small.

*  *  * 

“Tell me again who they are?” I asked my mother as we sat down at the round table. The ceiling fan above us did little to cool the restaurant.

“My cousins.”

“How are they related to us?”

My mother looked at me for a moment longer than necessary. Maybe she had explained it already or assumed that I knew. “Your grandfather came to the United States from Latvia when the war broke out. His brother, Uncle Max, went to Israel. These are his daughters.”

I digested this information, trying to form the family tree in my mind. Having no first cousins of my own, I couldn’t relate very well. I felt disconnected, distracted by the heat. I squirmed in my seat, tempted to ask the waiter to turn up the AC. Looking around at the open windows and archways leading into the garden, I realized there was no air conditioning at all.

“That must be them.” My mother stood up as two older women entered the restaurant. 

I was surprised by their age, having pictured them younger. How were these women my mother’s cousins? Realizing that my grandparents had my mother late in life, I put it together. It was as if a generation was missing, but it did add up.

The introductions were made, complete with hugs and kisses which left me feeling awkward, bringing out the shyness I had battled since childhood. I did not know these women, after all. 

I sat quietly as the conversation swirled around me, looking at the food that the cousins had ordered for us. I picked at the unfamiliar meat and sauces presented to me, wishing for a slice of pizza and chips. My mind drifted to the shops we had passed in Tel Aviv as I made my mental list of who would be getting which souvenir. Maybe I would indulge in the boots I saw in the window display or even the leather jacket. I had some money saved from my new job.

Noticing my mother’s sudden look of sadness, I listened in, hoping to catch onto the conversation without embarrassment. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said, as I tried to pull up the dialogue that might still be hanging in the air or my recent memory. 

“Yes, he was killed in the war,” Chana said, looking serious. “He was my youngest.”

Her son? Killed in the war? I brushed aside all thoughts of shopping and started listening. I felt like I should say something.

“I’m so sorry,” I quietly offered condolences to my cousin. 

She looked at me then, and I couldn’t quite figure out the expression. Was it distaste or was I taking on a feeling of inadequacy? I felt like a spoiled child, and I didn’t like it.

After lunch we stepped out to the garden to take some photographs under the archways. I placed my hands on the cool limestone, letting my sense of touch help me file away the moment into my memory. My mother wrapped up the conversation with more hugs and kisses while I took in the views of the rolling countryside. It was quite beautiful just a short drive from Tel Aviv. I hadn’t expected such green lushness. But then again, I didn’t know what to expect, as I really hadn’t done any of the research.

*  *  * 

“Did you enjoy meeting the cousins?” my mother asked me in the cab as we rode back to the hotel.

“I did,” I forced out, with an overly high pitch to my voice. I hoped my mother didn’t notice. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the get together other than it gave me a lot to think about. I was ignorant on too many topics, falling short on contributing to the conversation. 

Looking down at my brightly polished nails and fringed boots despite the heat, I felt foolish. I looked at my mother who carried on a one-sided conversation with me and I started listening. For real.

*  *  * 

Present day…

I bring the photo album and carefully balance it on my mother’s lap as she sits in her wheelchair. My two sons sit on either side of her, their cell phones on their laps but remaining untouched for the moment. I see a glimpse into the future, the day when they both have children, possibly daughters, who would be cousins. How heartbreaking if they never know each other. I finally understand the dynamic of cousins.

They look onto the photos covered in sheets of plastic with their undivided attention. 

My mother points from face to face, announcing names questioningly. 

“Cousin Chana?” she asks. 

“Yes,” I smile encouragingly. 

“And Rafa?” 

“Yes, Rafa.” 

“And this lady?” She places a long fingernail on her own image. “Who is she?”

“That’s you,” I say, not for the first time that day.

Native New Yorker Helene Berton has returned to her love of writing after a long hiatus.  She has two short story collections, Away from Home ( https://a.co/d/czXOPef) and Beyond the Parallel (https://a.co/d/1SViCZj), available on Amazon. Currently, Helene is working on her first novella, Red Means Stop, and a children’s picture book, The Big Race. If you’d like to learn more about Helene and her work, visit https://heleneberton.wordpress.com .

Author’s Note: My story explores the dynamics between mother and daughter, a common theme in my writing.  It was inspired by and takes place during my first trip to Israel in 1987.  There is a bit of a naivety portrayed, which is how I felt as a young American girl visiting Israel (somewhat immature and self centered), but it was a wake-up call.  The trip changed my outlook, inspiring me to fall in love with the country.  I was fortunate enough to visit a second time several years later, and both my sons experienced Israel through Birthright.  It is my hope to return once again.

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Collecting Languages

After White Squares by Lee Krasner (USA) 1948 *

by Barbara Krasner (Somerset, NJ)

I won a Hebrew contest once,

not because I understood

the text blocks reading right to left,

            although I knew zeh meant “this”

            and ha meant “the”

but because I understood the random

algorithm of standardized testing

and that I couldn’t color in

too many D choices with my No. 2 pencil.

I won Honorable Mention

in a German Declamation contest once playing

a Hausfrau in Wolfgang Borchert’s “Die Küchenuhr,”

my hair in pink curlers, wearing my mother’s housecoat

on the Rutgers stage, the only top contestant

who did not speak German at home.

As a teen, I performed “Tri Medvedya,”

the “Three Bears,” to get eighth graders

interested in taking Russian classes

at the high school.

            Odna devoshka poshlya v lecu i zablyudilas.

            A girl went into the forest and sat down.

I took Greek classes from a Rutgers professor,

            So much based on the aleph bais of Hebrew

            Even the Russian kukla for doll

Czech lessons in Prague,

            Where I recognized from Russian

            Infinitives k’ pti to drink and plakat to cry

tried French with Rosetta Stone.

            L’éléphante est dans l’avion

The elephant is on the airplane

But it was my frustration with not knowing

my grandparents’ Yiddish that led me

to formal classes, to confront what little

I knew, what little I had absorbed,

robbed of linguistic heritage

by immigrant grandparents

who died too soon.

Barbara Krasner holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a PhD in Holocaust & Genocide Studies (HGS) from Gratz College, where she teaches in the HGS graduate programs. The author of two poetry chapbooks and three novels in verse, her work has appeared in Jewish Literary Journal, Tiferet, Minyan, Jewishfiction.net, Michigan Quarterly Review, and elsewhere. She serves as Director, Mercer County (NJ) Holocaust, Genocide & Human Rights Education Center.

* Editor’s note: This poem–an ekphrastic poem–was inspired by Lee Krasner’s work, White Squares. To view Krasner’s artwork, visit: https://whitney.org/collection/works/504

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In His Hands

by Barbara Krasner (Somerset, NJ)

My grandfather once held my grandmother’s hands in his. I never knew her. He held the keys of his wooden register in his hands. Canned goods. Fresh produce. Milk bottles for the 1915 free milk campaign as announced in the Newark Evening Star. He held my infant father in his hands, an American-born baby of a Litvak and a Galitzianer. He held his aging mother’s hands and when I was born, and my mother asked him for a name, he gave me the name of his mother, Bryna, and his eldest sister. Doba, who died in the 1918 flu pandemic. He once held shoelaces that he dipped in leather in his first job at a Newark tannery. He once held pencils and rulers in his work as a joiner in Russia. He once held the parcels of his Russian life as he steamed across the Atlantic at age 19 on the SS Rotterdam in 1899 to join his brother in Newark. He held the fringes of his tallis and the leather straps of his phylacteries that I now keep in a special treasures drawer. My grandfather once held the remote to his Amana television to watch The Lawrence Welk Show and used it to change the channel to The Wonderful World of Disney for me. He once held the lever to vote for Al Smith for American president after he became a US citizen. He once held the keys to a corner lot house after decades of living behind the general store he and my grandmother owned and operated. As he aged, he held the iron-wrought banister of the outdoor stairs to my father’s car. He held my father’s hands for support. He held onto life itself to the age of 93.

But with all that my grandfather held, I don’t think he ever once held me.

Barbara Krasner holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a PhD in Holocaust & Genocide Studies (HGS) from Gratz College, where she teaches in the HGS graduate programs. The author of two poetry chapbooks and three novels in verse, her work has appeared in Jewish Literary Journal, Tiferet, Minyan, Jewishfiction.net, Michigan Quarterly Review, and elsewhere. She serves as Director, Mercer County (NJ) Holocaust, Genocide & Human Rights Education Center.

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Meditations on My Yiddish Name:  Mudke Velvel ben Yankel Yisroel, ha-Levi

by Bill Siegel (Boston, MA)

1.  Mudke

They named me Mudke

          Makes me think of mud cakes, mud crawlers

          Muddy Waters

But they must mean Mordche

          which translates to Mordecai

The Latin mort, Death

          coupled with the Hebrew chai, Life

In America, they changed it to Morton

          dropping the chai, taking the life out of the name

How could you saddle a baby with a name like that?

          My aunt chided her sister

As if forgetting it was her own father’s name given to me

As if forgetting it would keep their father’s name alive

2. Velvel

A stutter, or better, a strut

One syllable with each shoulder’s swagger

          Vel~right shoulder forward and

          Vel~with the left now 

Say his name twice if you say it once:

          Vel~Vel

3. Ben

Son of,

          the rising sun of the father’s new life

The dawn of his hopes

The bend when a river changes course

          Giving birth in its time to a new flow

Ben, bene, bien

The good son

          May he not forget his ancestors

          May he remember where he comes from

          May he remember his names

          That they may carry him

Where he’s going

4. Yankel Yisroel

Who wrestled with God’s Messenger

          Or maybe God Himself

The original knock-down, drag-out, one-fall, winner-take-all

          first fixed bout, a mismatch made in Heaven

Who wrestled with the mighty Thunder King

          forcing It to reveal Its name

Jacob, who became Israel

Yankel, who became Yisroel

Yankel Yisroel

Who patrolled the Shadow of Death

          lined with the dead of Hitler’s demons

          That would boil his people

          To make soap for the armpits of strangers

Peel their skin for lampshades

Who stood, barely 20 years old,

at liberated death camps, surrounded

          by the dead, the dying and the barely surviving

Who stood between captured German officers

          And the interrogating Americans

Using his Yiddish to translate,

          to bridge the combatting languages

To make what happened perfectly clear

5.  ha-Levi

Children of Levi, the one desert clan

          To keep their name for 40 centuries

Through 400 years of slavery

          And 40 years in the desert

Temple servants and warriors

          Guardians of the faith, stationed in every city

And still the tribe with no land of our own

          4000 years and still we wash

The hands of the Cohanim

before the priestly blessing

Look now at the graves of ha-Levi, the Levites

          See the cup carved into the stone

Like all Levis before me, my stone

will honor Miriam ha-Levi

          And her well of Living Water

          that will never run dry

6.  Mudke Velvel ben Yankel Yisroel, ha-Levi

All this in one name.

          All this in my name.

Bill Siegel lives in the Boston MA area, and writes both prose and poetry – about family, fishing, jazz, and more. He has two manuscripts in process: “Printed Scraps”, poems inspired by Japanese woodblock prints; and “Waiting to Go Home”, about family and memories of growing up. His work has been published in “Beyond Lament: Poets of the World Bearing Witness to the Holocaust” (Northwestern University Press), and “Indigenous Pop: Native American Music from Jazz to Hip Hop” (University of Arizona Press). His poems also appear in Blue Mesa Review, Rust+Moth, JerryJazzMusician, Brilliant Corners, and InMotion Magazine, among others.

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Questions I Never Asked

by Herbert Munshine (Great Neck, NY)

It’s too late now, far too late. Both my parents and

both my sisters are gone. My wellspring of family

knowledge has faded into the mysteries of history.

I was smart with books and sports, but I am ignorant

of my own history, full of regrets and a desire to know

but missing the precious resources that would have

filled the holes, the chasms in my consciousness.

When did they arrive in the U. S.? Why did they leave

Poland and Latvia? What was life there like for Jews?

How did they meet? Was the meeting accidental, 

spontaneous, arranged? How long did they date before

he proposed? Where did they get married? How long

were they married before she had my older sister?

What did he help build as a carpenter (besides the

Museum of the City of New York?). What was her

favorite color? Flower? Song? Pre-TV radio show?

Which members of my family were lost during the

Holocaust? During the pogroms? Did any of them

make the Aliyah to Israel? Who were my living relatives?

Where did they live? What did they do? Why were we

and they so distant? 

Why did she have me 10 years after my second sister?

Was she happy when I was born? Did she feel too old

to care for a baby again? Is it true that she almost

aborted me but changed her mind literally at the final

moment?

Then there are the closer queries to my toddler self:

What did her voice sound like? What did her touch

feel like? Her scent? Her presence? Beliefs: Did she

light Shabbas candles? Did he attend synagogue 

regularly when he was much younger and she was

still a vital presence in our lives? Afterthoughts:

What was his favorite opera? Why did he switch from

being a builder to owning a store? The ethereal gems:

What would they feel about the man I have become,

the woman I married, the children and grandchildren

I had – – – and how little my progeny know about them?

One final question: Why did I wait too late to ask?

Herbert Munshine grew up in the Bronx and graduated from C.C.N.Y. with both a B.S. in Education and a Master’s Degree in English. You can find his baseball poetry on Baseball Bard where he has had more than 160 poems published, and where he was recently inducted into that site’s Hall of Fame. He lives with his wife in Great Neck, NY.

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Repairing the World with Chicken Soup

by Barbara Krasner (Somerset, NJ)

Boil chicken bones and chicken parts with water, parsnip, dill, carrot, and celery in a pot larger than your firstborn. Ladle the soup into a bowl and add Goodman’s fine egg noodles if it’s Shabbos or handmade lokshen if it’s Pesach. Form dense matzoh balls with your hands. It’s all right if they’re misshapen. So is the world. Should the matzoh balls sink to the bottom of the pot and your stomach, it’s okay. They’ll soak up the golden liquid that soothes all that ails you and the world. Tikkun olam

Having kosher chicken soup from your mama’s stove is like no other. Better than the best kosher deli. Because it contains love like your mama’s kiss on your keppele. You’re all right, it’s the Sabbath, time to end one week and start another fresh and clean. The broth will clear your head, clear all mistakes, fill you up so you can curl up under your featherbed all cozy, warm, and loved.

And maybe this is the best of all. Knowing that your mama learned how to make the soup from her mama, Rayzel Entel, who learned it from her mama, Esther Taube Drewno, who learned it from her mama, Chaja Rojza Mularzewicz, who learned it from her mama, Buna Etla Przestreleniec, who learned it from her mama, Ruchla Herszkowna of no last name, born at the turn of the nineteenth century in Brok, Poland. You are a link in the chain doling out the remedy to repair the world a spoonful at a time.


Barbara Krasner holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a PhD in Holocaust & Genocide Studies (HGS) from Gratz College, where she teaches in the HGS graduate programs. The author of two poetry chapbooks and three novels in verse, her work has appeared in Jewish Literary Journal, Tiferet, Minyan, Jewishfiction.net, Michigan Quarterly Review, and elsewhere. She serves as Director, Mercer County (NJ) Holocaust, Genocide & Human Rights Education Center.

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The Slant of Afternoon Light

by Arlene Geller (East Petersburg, PA)

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.

—Leonard Cohen

Your palpable need to touch 

your long-missed father

led us both 

to touch history.

I never wanted to set foot 

in Warsaw or Krakow, 

Budapest or Prague.

(Never wanted to be near Germany.)

But drawn by age 

and fading opportunities, 

we overcame our individual 

and collective fears.

We journeyed to places immersed 

in histories unfathomably 

sorrowful, unfathomably rich—  

we will never be the same.

We let the light in.

You now hold images, 

memories that were always

just beyond your reach.

Arlene Geller’s collection of prose poems, The Earth Claims Her, is available at Plan B Press. Her second poetry collection, Hear Her Voice, is available at Kelsay Books Hear Her Voice on Kelsay Books and Amazon Hear Her Voice on Amazon.  

Author’s note: This poem was written after an intense Eastern European trip last year. My husband’s father came to the United States from Poland. Throughout our 45-year marriage, my husband, Hank, has longed for a connection to the father who died when Hank was only 7 years old. The early loss has been an undercurrent for so long that I thought it time to visit at least the country where my father-in-law was born.

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My father never offered me

by Herbert Munshine (Great Neck, NY)

My father never offered me, 

in the decades of the ‘50’s and the ‘60’s, 

when our relationship had reached its fullness,

the opportunity to return with him 

to his native Augustowów, Poland, 

to visit relatives (if any had managed 

to survive the forced labor camps or 

mass killings in its ghetto when the Nazis 

controlled the fates of thousands of its Jews). 

He never painted for me a work of art 

or shared words depicting the Netta River

or the town’s canal or spacious marketplace 

or the smiling, gentle people of his youth, 

perhaps because they had ceased to exist,

or perhaps because the agony was great.

Shouldn’t it be the birthright of any immigrant 

to return, if only for special moments, 

or for his or her offspring to walk 

the streets and bathe in the tranquil moonlight 

of the place that was the home a parent knew 

and felt fondness for even in brief moments

many years before?

The difficulty is that when a generation 

suffers massive torture, loss and execution, 

many generations will be forever scarred 

or devoured. Innocence is no defense to 

war crimes against humanity. 

Now I try to envision my father’s happy youth, 

his frolicking with friends and gentle neighbors, 

but the fantasy quickly dissipates into sharp reality 

when I recall the subject not once broached by him, 

rather compelled to dwell in the ash-heap of his memory.

In my old age, it is enough for me to know deeply that

he never offered me knowledge of his Augustowów

because he wanted to shield me from his pain. Even

in his silence, his love for me expressed itself. 

He did not leave his heart in Poland. He brought it to

America and shared it with me in his silence, 

which shouted love when I’d grown

wise enough to hear it.

Herbert Munshine grew up in the Bronx and graduated from C.C.N.Y with both a B.S in Education and a Master’s Degree in English. You can find his baseball poetry on Baseball Bard where he has had more than 100 poems published, and where he was recently inducted into that site’s Hall of Fame. He lives with his wife in Great Neck, NY.

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Filed under American Jewry, Family history, history, Jewish, Jewish identity, Jewish writing, Judaism, poetry, Polish Jewry

Tzipa

by Nina Zolotow (Berkeley, CA)

“You also have a Jewish first name,” my mother told me. “It’s Tzipa.” 

“Tzipa?” I asked, trying to reproduce the completely unfamiliar sound I was hearing.

“Yes, Tzipa. She was grandma’s sister who died.”

“Oh,” I said “Okay.”

There we were, sitting together on the couch in the light-filled living room of our brand-new house, up on a hillside in a canyon in the Santa Monica Mountains in Los Angeles, California, and I was young enough to simply accept the mystifying information that, in addition to my English first name, Nina, I had a “Jewish” first name, Tzipa, without asking any questions. But I always remembered what my mother told me. Even as the years passed and I never heard anyone call me Tzipa (my relatives called me Ninala or Ninatchka), I always remembered that name.

I also believed that no one else I knew had two first names. I didn’t realize then that it is very common for Jewish people to have a Hebrew name in addition to their name in the language of the country where they were living, and that their Hebrew names were not just second names in another language, but they were spiritual names in “God’s holy language.” I missed out on learning that, I think, because my parents, as well as my grandparents, were not religious, so I never went to synagogue or Hebrew school.

So that made me think that it was only me who had a secret name. It was like a magpie surprised me with a gift, dropping a small shiny object at my feet, and having no idea what to do with it but not wanting to get rid of it, I put it in a box with other precious objects. And I took that box along with me with every move I ever made, from city to city and even from one country to another.

I might have learned more about Hebrew names had I married a Jewish man. But, instead, I married a man who, despite being raised by parents from a small Protestant religious sect, the Church of the Brethren, always believed that everything he learned in Sunday school was just so many stories, stories that had no relationship to the world as he knew it. And he and I together raised two children who we brought up just as I had been raised without any religion.

“Do you remember me telling you about my Hebrew name, Tzipa?” I asked my husband recently.

“Tizpa?” Brad said. “No, not really.”

“I guess that name doesn’t mean anything to you,” I said. “But I definitely told you. I think you might remember when I tell you that it means little bird.”

“Ah, little bird,” he said, smiling fondly. “Yes, I do remember something about that.”

When I became an adult, my appreciation for my secret name grew because even though I didn’t like the sound of it, I learned that it means “little bird.” Tzipa, you see, is a diminutive of the biblical name Tzipporah, which is derived from the Hebrew word for bird, “tzippor.” And because birds can soar across the vastness of the skies above us, free from the restrictions that keep humans tied to the earth, in Jewish symbolism birds represent freedom. They also represent the awakening of the spirit and the connection between the earth and heaven, the material world and the spiritual one.

“Did you know that I have a Hebrew name?” I asked my brother, Danny “It’s Tzipa.”

“No, but I like the sound of that,” he said. “How did you find out about it?”

“Mom just told me that when I was a kid.”

“So, you mean that Mom and Dad gave you a Hebrew name?”

“Yes. They named me after Grandma Goldie’s sister who died in the Holocaust. But maybe you didn’t know that because no one ever called me by that name.”

“Okay…. Well, that’s a good person to be named after. It’s a nice way of keeping someone’s memory alive, whether the name gets used or not.”

Then, less than a year ago, my first cousin, Susan, sent me the result of the research she had done on our maternal grandmother’s family, the Levinstein family from Kudirkos-Naumienstis (also known as Naishtot) in Lithuania. And there at the end of the document was quite a lot of information about Tzipa, who she was and how she died.

I learned that Tzipa, who was one of the older sisters of my maternal grandmother Goldie Levinstein, had been born in Kudirkos-Lithuania in the 1890s. And that unlike her three sisters, she did not emigrate to the U.S. but instead stayed in the town where her parents and two brothers still lived. She married a rabbi named Itzhak, and together they had six children, five sons, Haim, Eliyahu, Israel, Dov, and one other whose name and fate we don’t know, and one daughter, Leah.

Then, on June 22, 1941, the Germans invaded the town and set the Jews to work under the supervision of local Lithuanians until a day in early July when a group of Lithuanian “activists,” under the command of Germans, attacked the city. This group ordered all Jewish males above the age of fourteen out to the streets and then took the Jewish men in groups of fifties to the Jewish cemetery. There the Germans and Lithuanian activists together shot one hundred ninety-two prisoners at the edge of pits they had already dug. The women and children were later forced into a ghetto within the town. On September 16, the 650 remaining women and children, and a few remaining men, were transported to the Parazniai forest by armed Lithuanians, who forced them to take off all their clothes and then lined them up and shot them all.

But Tzipa, her husband, and three of her children, Leah, Israel, and Dov, escaped the mass murders. After frantically packing up some kosher food, they ran for their lives. Once across the river, they fled into a more rural area. The first few days there they spent in an open field eating grass and finishing up the last of the kosher food. Then they found an abandoned shack and moved into it.

During those first long summer days, I imagine they must have seen birds of all kinds flying from tree branch to tree branch or high up in the distant blue sky above them and longed to be free like that, to fly far, far away from that place. Because things soon got worse.

Israel and Dov both left, joining the Lithuanian army that was attempting to fight off the Nazis. So Tzipa went away for few days, returning with flour for making bread, which she had purchased with money she received from selling her gold fillings. But her husband Itzhak, the rabbi, refused to eat non-kosher food. So he gradually starved to death. And then Tzipa herself came down with dysentery. 

What must it have been like for her to be dying and know that she was leaving her young daughter—only 14—completely alone?

Dov was killed fighting the Germans in the open fields. Haim was murdered by the Germans and their Lithuanian collaborators, as was Eliyahu, along with his wife and their two month-old baby. But two of Tzipa’s children survived. Her son, Israel, was badly wounded and became disabled—his hand was seriously damaged, and he lost the toes on one foot—but after the war, he emigrated to Brazil. And her daughter, Leah, also survived. After her mother died, she found a job at a factory where they paid her with small amounts of food. And after the war, she found her way to Israel, which is how our family knows this story.

“Did I ever tell you that I have a Hebrew name.” I said to Quinn, our child who is a scientist now living in Scotland and who strongly identifies with being Jewish.

“Yeah, I remember you telling me,” Quinn replied. “I actually wrote the name out for you in the Hebrew alphabet when I was studying Yiddish.”

“I’m very glad you do remember. What are your thoughts about me having the name of a woman who died during the Holocaust while trying to save her family?”

“Yes, well, I do think it’s nice to keep her memory alive by giving her name to someone in the family, but it’s also some heavy shit because it represents how you grew up with the Holocaust all around you—after all, you spent a lot of time as a child around adults who must have had a traumatic response to that genocidal event.”

“That’s true,” I said. “Even though I didn’t understand much about it at the time, I always had some awareness of it.”

To be honest, I’m still grappling with what it means to me to carry the name of that extraordinary woman. But, at last, I finally know what to do with the gift of the Hebrew name that was given to me all those years ago. I am taking it out of my box of precious things where it has been hidden all these years, placing it in the palm of my left hand, and reaching my hand out toward you, saying, “Here. Look at this.”

Nina Zolotow just loves to write, and she has been doing it for her entire adult life. Currently she is writing creative non-fiction and experimental fiction/poetry, which you can find on her blog Delusiastic!, where there is both brand new and older works, and you can also subscribe to her on Substack, where she is releasing one story a week. Nina has also written or co-written four books on yoga (seeyogafortimesofchange.comas well as being the Editor in Chief and writer for the Yoga for Healthy Aging blog for 12 years. Before that there was 20 years of writing instructional manuals for the software industry, including many books for programmers. And somewhere in there was an MFA from San Francisco State in Creative Writing. All of that taught her how to write simply and clearly when needed but also to go crazy with words when that seems right. 

This story originally appeared on Nina’s blog, Delusiastic! and is reprinted here with permission of the author.

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Filed under American Jewry, European Jewry, Family history, history, Jewish, Jewish identity, Jewish writing, Judaism, Russian Jewry