Tag Archives: visiting Israel

A mother’s worry

by Karen Scholl (Mount Vernon, OH)

My 24-year-old son Noah had been in Israel for less than three hours when I got this text:

Noah: Weird question, but do you want to know when or if I hear sirens or have to shelter?

He was attending a week-long conference with other Jewish educators to meet people directly impacted by the October 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Israel. More than a year into the conflict, Noah was there to listen to people’s stories, see what their lives are like today, and hear what they hope for the future.

When he first sent me a link to the program, I knew he had to go. It didn’t just align with his recently earned religious studies-political science degree, but his passion for connecting with people and trying to better understand their experiences and perspectives.

Was I worried about him visiting a country in the middle of a conflict? That was the question most people asked me. Not directly, of course. “Oh, Israel. Wow. Ok. That’s…uh, how do you feel about that?” 

Honestly, my biggest worries were about him remembering his passport and making all his flights.

I’d woken up that morning to a text that he landed in Tel Aviv, and then another one that said he “made it” through customs, which I hadn’t even thought to worry about. 

Noah: I definitely didn’t explain myself the best, but the customs official let me through. I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to say and she was just like, “Have better answers next time.”

It’s not that I sit and worry, but just knowing he’s en route somewhere— especially if it’s across an ocean—ignites one more burner on the endless stovetop of my brain. So just the sight of a text that says On the ground, or even an airplane-landing emoji settles me. 

When Noah’s question came through I was in the middle of a client project—tweaking a headline about luxury travel to try and attract the most high-net-worth eyeballs. But now I needed to decide about sirens? My Noah burner reignited. Did I want to know—in the moment—if he was in danger? 

Me: So, like right now? Or is this hypothetical? 

Normally I know better than to use punctuation in texts to my kids. They taught me early on that, from me, periods and question marks seem “aggressive.” So I save them for essential communications—How high is your fever? This time I was tempted to respond purely in punctuation—one giant question mark.

Damn those three dots. Noah typed and re-typed, and re-typed again—from the other side of the globe. It felt like I’d just pulled the lever on a slot machine and was waiting for the reels to stop spinning, praying they’d land on Safe. Safe. Safe.

Noah: Not now. Though when I was in the taxi from the airport we sheltered under an overpass for a few minutes—but it was the first siren in Tel Aviv in weeks.


I really wanted to see his face or hear his voice in that moment, to know for-sure-for-sure that he was ok. 

Me: What does the siren mean exactly? 

Where I live in Ohio, tornado sirens are tested once a week, literally like clockwork. Hearing one just means it’s 12 p.m. on Wednesday, time to get up from my desk and make lunch.

Noah: I think it means there are rockets in the air, but I’m not 100% sure.

I had to look away from my phone. But there was my laptop screen, covered with the headlines about exclusive vacations.  

I couldn’t think, so I shut the lid the way I turn off the radio when I’m driving through a white-out. 

Behind my laptop sat a mug with the cold dregs of hibiscus tea and a pile of bills. I could hear the dogs snoring on the couch behind me, my husband on the phone in the next room. 

Most days, and for most of each day, this was my whole little world. My grown kids pop in and out of it, but they rarely transport me from it. Not like this.

Noah was barely one day into his trip and my stomach was braided like challah. Later, a friend who travels to Israel often mentioned that there’s an app that lets you know when and where sirens are going off. “I mean, I don’t have it,” she said, “but you can get it—if you want to know.”

I thought of my college roommate who moved to Israel and raised three kids in Tel Aviv. We lost touch years ago, but whenever I saw headlines about unrest there, I wondered how it affected her life. Was she still cooking dinner, asking her kids about school, reminding them to pick their clothes up off the floor like I was? Or was she holding onto them in a bomb shelter?

Me: Yes, please keep me posted about your safety ❤️

The rest of Noah’s week seemed to go well. Mid-way through, he casually mentioned a second incident with sirens, but glossed over it with stories about the courageous people he met and how it felt to walk through one of the kibbutzim that was attacked, seeing the scars and devastation, but also the hope.

After heavier days he’d send pics from feasts in quaint cafes or videos from the poets and musicians they met. He FaceTimed me once to show me the stray cats running around the roof of his hostel in Jerusalem and the sun rising over the Old City.

Right before his flight out of Tel Aviv, sirens went off for the third time. It was Friday night here when I started seeing Noah’s texts come through—first that he was sheltering in the airport bathroom, then that he got the all-clear.

Noah: I’m a little shaken just because I was asleep at the gate when the sirens first went off, but I’m fine. Met a nice Danish woman in the shelter. 

Noah (cont’d): Experiencing the sirens gave me a fuller grasp of all the emotions and feelings that are out there. I wanted to be in the center of the action and it comes with stuff like this.

Once he got back to his gate, he shared more. 

Noah: The most intense part was everyone running, like watching an entire terminal of people scatter, looking for shelters. I’ve seen it 3 times now, but it’s the look in people’s eyes when they realize oh, this is not a drill, we gotta start running.

Later that night I was better able to take stock of things. Noah was fine. His flight out of Tel Aviv had taken off as scheduled and he was likely stretched out across three seats in the back of the darkened plane, two-melatonin deep into a transcontinental nap. Relieved as I was that the drama of the week was over, I was thankful to be present for it, for him—even just via Wi-Fi. Now that he’s grown up and out on his own, I consider witnessing the events that continue to shape his life a real gift.

A few days later, Noah was sitting next to me on the couch, giving me the full download from his trip. He confirmed that not only did those sirens mean rockets were in the air, but once you hear them, you have 90 seconds to find shelter. Saving that last detail until he was within arm’s reach of me was a kindness.

“But I never really felt I was in danger,” he said. “And it’s going to sound weird, but hearing sirens right after I got there almost helped me get into the right headspace.”

“Everywhere we went, all week,” he added, “the first thing they did was show us where to go if the sirens go off. But that first day, in the taxi, I had no idea. The driver made eye contact with me in the rearview then floored it to an overpass. We sprinted to the bridge then stayed there with other motorists until we heard the all-clear.” 

The visual tore through me. I knew instantly that it would run on a loop in my head like a maddening jingle—the boy who I watched run up and down soccer fields for 14 years, running from a car to find safety in case a rocket broke through the Iron Dome. But I tried to hide it, because just like him, I want to be in the center of the action—his action—even when it’s scary—and it comes with stuff like this.

He must have sensed it, because Noah knew exactly where to end his story. “The weirdest part,” he said, “was getting back into the cab and seeing that the meter was still running.”

Karen Scholl has spent the last 25 years working as a copywriter and creative director. In between crafting web copy about laundry detergent, writing video scripts for financial institutions, and creating leadership articles for executives, she started writing about the relatable—and often humorous—moments of everyday life. Karen is the author of Surviving Soccer: A Chill Parent’s Guide to Carpools, Calendars, Coaches, Clubs, and Corner Kicks. Visit her website for more info: https://www.karenschollwriter.com

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Pages from My Mother’s Diary: A Bus Trip to Ashkelon

By Naomi Gross (Tel Aviv, Israel) and Shira Sebban (Sydney, Australia)

My sister and I never expected to find the diary of our late mother, Naomi Gross. Indeed, for many years, we did not even know of its existence. It was only when we sorted through our mother’s possessions after her death in July 2013 following a long battle with Alzheimer’s disease, that we came across the non-descript, navy-bound volume, stashed away and seemingly long forgotten in a drawer of her writing desk.

The diary reads like a film script, relating experiences in the Israel of the mid-1950s of a young woman whom I did not recognize. After almost a decade’s absence, she had returned to her birthplace from Australia, where she had gone to join her father after World War II, only to discover that she had become somewhat of a stranger in her own land.

At the same time, and especially in the wake of the most recent deterioration in relations between Israel and the Palestinians, it is sobering to read a personal account of the early trials and tribulations, anguish and vulnerability of the new State of Israel.

Now, nearly sixty years later, I have decided to bring the yellowed pages filled with my mother’s distinctive script to life once more, recreating stories from her diary, which has become one of my most cherished possessions.

 Shira Sebban

*******

There was not a soul in sight. Surrounded by orange groves, my mother expressed her growing unease, “recalling some unfortunate encounters workers had with Arab infiltrators some months ago.”

I picture her, as she was then, an attractive and bright 20-something student, alone – except for her cousin Miriam – in the hot afternoon stillness. She would have been unable to get the image of those poor workers out of her mind. What if she was attacked too?

The infamous date of 4 October 1956 must have been etched in her memory. Only six months previously, five Israeli construction workers had been killed in an ambush in broad daylight on a desert highway near the Dead Sea, just a few hours away from Ashkelon.

Why on earth had she agreed to visit the South in the first place? It had been sheer madness to try to walk to the 5000-year-old site of ancient Ashkelon from the beach cafe, and they were still two kilometers away from the excavations.

The term, “infiltrator,” with its connotations of menace and evil, has recently been revived to refer to African asylum seekers to Israel. Its origins date back to the early 1950s, when numerous attacks on Israeli settlements culminated in the 1954 “Prevention of Infiltration Law,” which defined Palestinians and citizens of surrounding Arab states, who entered Israel illegally, as “infiltrators,” punishable by law, especially if armed or accused of crimes against people or property.

How many incidents had there been in the past 18 months since my mother’s return to her birthplace from Australia after almost a decade’s absence? Five people had been massacred in the previous two months alone: on 18 February 1957, two civilians had been killed by landmines next to Kibbutz Nir Yitzhak on the southern border of the Gaza Strip; on 8 March, a shepherd from Kibbutz Beit Guvrin, not far from Ashkelon, had been murdered in a nearby field, while just two days prior to her excursion, on 16 April, two guards had been killed at Kibbutz Mesilot in the North.

No, she decided firmly, she and her cousin would have to miss out on seeing the Neolithic excavations recently undertaken by French archeologist Jean Perrot; it just wasn’t worth the risk. They would then have joined the disorderly, long queue catching the Egged bus back to Tel Aviv. The two-hour trip would be a nightmare, she thought as they boarded, jostling in the narrow aisle against laborers standing cramped two or even three abreast after a hard day’s work.

It had not been as overcrowded that morning, when at least she had managed to find a seat next to Miriam. They were taking every opportunity to spend time together, renewing the strong bonds of their childhood friendship. Born and bred in Tel Aviv, Miriam was eager to inspect recent developments undertaken by the new State, remaining ever hopeful that her enthusiasm would somehow rub off onto her more-worldly cousin.

A high-pitched voice rang out above the din of the other bus passengers:

“Whose idea was it to throw Joseph into the well?”

“Was it Judah?”

The tentative reply was met with squeals of laughter.

“Wrong! You lose a point.”

My mother turned. “The seats behind us were occupied by four Yemenite girls, 15-17 years old, probably recent arrivals to the country,” she subsequently noted in her diary. “Full of joy of life, laughing and continuously talking in squeaky voices, cracking small black seeds and throwing shells on the floor of the bus. They were conducting a biblical quiz concerning the story of Joseph and his brothers in a childish manner, heavily taxing their minds and enjoying it tremendously.”

She was recalling the rescue mission, Operation Magic Carpet, which had airlifted most of Yemen’s 50,000 Jews to young Israel between June 1949 and September 1950 in what had been the first wave of Jewish immigration from the Muslim world.

The exuberance so evidently displayed by the girls would have contrasted sharply with the largely discontented demeanor of most of the other passengers. She glanced out the window and found the land “flat and uninteresting,” the monotony of the green fields “relieved here and there by red and yellow spring flowers.”

Ashkelon itself had been a disappointment – “An old Arab town with one main street containing the shops,” she would write, “now occupied mainly by migrants.”

That “old Arab town” was al-Majdal Asqalan, established under Ottoman rule in the 16th century. A commercial and administrative center, it had been part of the area occupied by the Egyptian army during the War of Independence, when its Arab population, about 11,000 strong, had largely fled, ostensibly temporarily, to nearby Gaza, before the town itself had been captured by Israeli forces in early November 1948. Less than two years later, the remaining Arab population, which had been confined to a fenced-off “ghetto,” had been transferred mostly to Gaza.

Meanwhile, demobilized soldiers and new immigrants, including survivors from the displaced persons camps in Europe and Jewish refugees from Yemen, Iran and Iraq, had been moving into what was Israel’s first development town. After several name changes, it had officially become Ashkelon in 1956 – only the year before my mother’s visit with her cousin. They had not lingered long, boarding another bus for the ten-minute ride west to the recently incorporated seaside township of Afridar.

Touted as a South African-style garden city, Miriam had long wanted to visit Afridar, which was being built on a large tract of land granted to the South African Zionist Federation by Labor Minister Golda Meir. Even its name sounded exotic, an amalgam of “Africa” and the Hebrew word, “darom,” meaning “south.” But as her description reveals, my mother had found the town center frankly uninspiring: on the right was a cinema, while on the left stood “a museum, library, health center, city municipality, all in one building. Likewise there is a row of about ten shops, comprising the entire shopping center, also a café. There is a tall tower with a clock at its top, and there, at the bottom, is the information bureau.”

The buildings, she conceded, were quite attractive, constructed of “colored bricks, with a somewhat oriental touch,” and “surrounded by lawns and flowers,” although multiple official notices forbidding visitors from walking on the grass spoiled the overall effect.

Looking for a place to have lunch, I picture the two women entering the information bureau.

“Welcome to Afridar,” the official behind the counter – clearly a new South African immigrant – would have intoned in stilted Hebrew. “This is the first modern neighborhood of Ashkelon, and the first, and up to now, only Anglo-Saxon settlement in Israel!”

“It’s impossible to utter any genuine impressions or opinions in front of the local people,” my mother would later record in her diary. “They will bite your head off as they can’t take any criticism. Still, the overall impression is a poor one, which might change with the enlargement of the place.”

She described the sea from a distance as appearing “beautiful, very blue and calm.” Small single- and two-family homes with red tiled roofs, arched front balconies, and spacious private gardens dotted the broad dirt road, an occasional old, rickety bus ambling past. Upon closer inspection, however, she expressed her disappointment as “the shore was poorly looked after, the sand none too clean and quite uninviting,” the only saving grace being the “most beautiful purple, yellow and orange wildflowers” growing in abundance.

At that time, the coastal dunes were quite deserted, save for two buildings, one a hotel and the other a café, which stood closer to the edge of the sandstone cliff running along the beach. The hotel was none other than the Dagon Inn, which had been established in 1954 by the Government-owned Afridar Development Corporation. Sharing the name of the Philistine god Dagon, whose temple Samson knocked down in biblical times, the Inn was one of the South’s first hotels, its then 16 vacation cabins even attracting the Prime Minister himself, David Ben-Gurion.

Its sole neighbor, Café Maurice, had proved to be the perfect place to have lunch, which was ” beautifully prepared and exquisitely served,” my mother wrote, although “the bill was tremendous – 12 lirot for both of us, which was very high for Israel, but perhaps worth it.”

“The place belongs to my parents,” the waiter had told the women in response to their compliments. “They’ve been in Israel for ten years – lucky for me as I was kicked out of Egypt last month.”

“What were you doing there? Your English is excellent,” my mother noted.

“Thank you, I speak five other languages as well. I studied hotel management in Switzerland and then owned some big hotels in Egypt. It was a great lifestyle – working six months a year and travelling around the world for the other six. But it’s all over now – I left with 20 pounds to my name. I’m leaving for Brazil soon. Prospects look good there. Israel’s a lovely place for idealists, but it’s got nothing much to offer me. Even if you have great talents to share, the country can’t cope yet.”

The waiter was part of the “second exodus from Egypt” after World War II, an expulsion that lasted for around 20 years, reaching its peak in the wake of the 1956 Sinai Campaign. Of Egypt’s once 80,000-strong, multicultural Jewish community, 34,000 would immigrate to Israel, the rest leaving for France, Brazil, North America, the United Kingdom and Australia. Forced to leave their property behind, many of these largely middle-class refugees were deported with little more than the clothes on their backs, their travel documents stamped “One way – no right to return.”

On the trip back to Tel Aviv, a frail, elderly lady had squeezed onto the bus, complaining of a sick heart, but no one was prepared to give up their seat. Huddled in the aisle, my mother and Miriam must have watched in disbelief as the mother of a little boy, nonchalantly sitting next to her, vociferously stood her ground, to the loud protestations of those around her.

“I paid for his ticket! He doesn’t have to get up for anyone!”

In a vain attempt to block out what my mother described as the ensuing “lively discussion,” peppered with frequent swearing, the cousins strove to share their impressions of the day.

“Miriam was most enthusiastic with all she saw,” my mother wrote. “Perhaps patriotism makes one so. As for me, I couldn’t work up a spark of enthusiasm or particular pleasure. Pity, I seem to be missing something vital.”

For other stories based on my mother’s diary see: http://jewishliteraryjournal.com/creative-non-fiction/blood-in-the-market/ and http://shirasebban.blogspot.com.au/2015/08/sordid-beauty.html

Shira Sebban is a writer and editor based in Sydney, Australia. A former journalist with the Australian Jewish News, she previously worked in publishing and taught French to university students. She now serves as vice-president of Emanuel School, a pluralistic and egalitarian Jewish Day School. Her work has appeared in online and print publications including the Jewish Literary Journal, Jewish Daily Forward, Australian Jewish News, Times of Israel, Eureka Street, Alzheimer’s Reading Room and Online Opinion, as well as The Jewish Writing Project. You can read more of her work at shirasebban.blogspot.com.au

 

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Where I’ll Celebrate Passover Next Year

by Donna Swarthout (Berlin, Germany)

I resisted the idea of visiting Israel for most of my adult life. I was afraid I would feel nothing holy, nothing spiritual, nothing to connect me to the land of our forefathers. The Pesach cry “Next Year in Jerusalem!” never resonated with me. Why in Jerusalem? Why not in Berlin or Los Angeles, Moscow or Nairobi? How could spending Passover in Jerusalem make a difference in my life, enhance my Jewish identity, or connect me to world Jewry?

I spent my first Passover in Israel this year and returned with a twisted knot of emotions that will take some time to unravel. My greatest joy was in the daily gifts to my senses: the sweet smell of jasmine, the inviting warmth of the limestone architecture, the abundant sunshine, and the rich tastes of hummus and falafel. Each day the land and the people drew me in, but not without moments when my buttons were pushed and I drew back. I felt a bit like Dr. Doolittle’s pushmi-pullyu, the gazelle-unicorn whose two heads try to go in opposite directions whenever it moves.

The greatest challenge was trying to make sense of the ultra-orthdox Jews whose demeanor and conduct sent a loud message that said “keep away — you are not one of us.” Driving through the Mea She’arim area and provoking the rage of its residents was probably a bad idea, but even worse was the feeling we had while walking around Jerusalem of being invisible in the eyes of those who are a part of our history but who reject us as Jews. Why wouldn’t they look at us? And why were they always in such a hurry, rushing along the streets in their big hats and black suits as if late for a pressing business appointment?

We did not travel with a group or attend any religious services so we had no interaction with more modern Jews. Stepping into one of Jerusalem’s major hotels to use the facilities, we saw huge signs for upcoming bar and bat mitzvahs. One elaborate display welcomed Gaby Schwartz and her bat mitzvah guests. I became obsessed with Gaby Schwartz and how she felt about having her bat mitzvah at a fancy hotel in Jerusalem. Did Gaby miss her friends who couldn’t travel to Jerusalem to celebrate with her? Why leave your local Jewish community for such an important rite of passage? What did it mean to Gaby’s parents to celebrate the twin occasions of Pesach and their daughter’s bat mitzvah in Jerusalem?

The cultural and earthly pleasures of Israel will pull me back one day, but I look forward to spending next Passover in Berlin. The phrase “Next Year in Jerusalem” isn’t just about our physical presence on the land; it also reflects our aspirations for unity among the world’s Jews, for world peace and spiritual fulfillment. But are these the best words to end a seder for the many Jews like me who struggle to find their connection with Judaism and who tire of being associated with Israeli policies with which we disagree?

Building Jewish community in the place where I live, a place where Jewish life came close to extinction, has meaning for me. Berlin has a growing Jewish population, and although it is quite fragmented and rife with conflicts, it is also rich and vibrant, a reflection of our resilience. In Israel I was just a tourist, but in Berlin I am part of a Jewish community where my presence has significance for building a better future.

Donna Swarthout writes about being Jewish in Germany on her blog Full Circle http://dswartho.wordpress.com/Her work has appeared on The Jewish Writing Project and in Tablet Magazine, Tikkun Daily, Jewesses with Attitude, and AVIVA-Berlin.

 

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