by Barbara Krasner (Somerset, NJ)
I.
I can still see the cardboard box my father brought to me when he cleaned out his father’s house in late 1969 after my grandfather’s death at ninety-three. I can still see the curled edges of sepia photographs, fading penciled names and places in Yiddish or Cyrillic or German or Polish. I couldn’t read any of those languages then. I can now. I can still see myself on our playroom sofa rifling through the box. Saying to my father, I don’t know who any of these people are. He stashed the box in the basement boiler room.
II.
It has been thirty-five years since I visited his house looking for that box. He turned to me and said, The boiler burst and the room flooded. I felt sick, nauseated, that all that history was gone. My grandfather, being the last of his generation to pass, held onto these artifacts. Irreplaceable.
I miss the way my father and I talked about his family’s history on the way home from monthly Jewish Genealogical Society meetings. How I could tease out his passive knowledge by offering a bit of what I knew. I am the only person in the family now who knows where our grandparents are buried. The only one who’d been there, placed stones on their graves in remembrance, honoring their memories.
III.
How lucky it was my father and I had that time together. How lucky it was his mother came to America in 1913, before the Great War that drove her family into safety’s diaspora. Before Soviet occupation drove her brother to a Siberian labor camp and Nazi occupation carried the others away, never to return. How lucky it is, dear ancestors, that I am the one you’ve tasked with remembering.
Barbara Krasner holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a PhD in Holocaust & Genocide Studies (HGS) from Gratz College, where she teaches in the HGS graduate programs. The author of two poetry chapbooks and three novels in verse, her work has appeared in Jewish Literary Journal, Tiferet, Minyan, Jewishfiction.net, Michigan Quarterly Review, and elsewhere. She serves as Director, Mercer County (NJ) Holocaust, Genocide & Human Rights Education Center.
