by Rachel R. Baum (Saratoga Springs, NY)
We did not belong to the synagogue my grandparents attended
On the High Holy Days I stood next to my father
Surrounded by anonymity in dark suits
He mumbled the Hebrew fussed with the slippery borrowed tallis
As I followed the dots and lines of text with my finger
My father elbowed me “Look at that” he stage whispered
A diamond ring my sister would call a third eye
Dangled from a well-dressed woman’s finger
“I’m her” he teased, knowing how the benediction he bestowed
On any female with enviable money, talent, beauty, would be
Hurtful to my sister and me, and then “Read! Read!” he insisted
Though we both knew we were there to gossip not to pray
Real prayer was the cluster of swaying bearded men
We were observers gazing from the rim of an alien civilization
Although we rose for the silent Amidah
We vied to be the first to finish and sit
My mother admonished us for our whispered disregard
She turned the pages of the Siddur
As she would an album of photographs
Reciting the Hebrew from transliterated words
We left early to avoid the rabbi’s sermon
The Bema a distant stage with its costumed Torahs
An usher collected the pledge envelope
At the tollbooth of a sanctuary door
At home, another yarmulke was added to the drawerful
That my father forgot at shul to remove and return
Evidence of our yearly pilgrimage
Marking the passage of time and of faith.
Rachel R. Baum is a professional dog trainer, former librarian, licensed private pilot, kayak angler, and Covid Long Hauler. She is the author of the blog BARK! Confessions of a Dog Trainer and the editor of Funeral and Memorial Service Readings: Poems and Tributes (McFarland, 1999) Her poems have appeared in High Shelf Press, Ariel’s Dream, Drunk Monkeys, Wingless Dreamer, New England Monthly Poetry Digest, Poetica Review, Bark magazine, and Around the World anthology. To learn more about Rachel’s work, visit: https://rachelrbaum.wixsite.com/my-site
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