Category Archives: history

Jewish Questions

by Nina Zolotow (Berkeley, CA)

I’m sorry,” the Danish receptionist said in English. “But I’ll need to search your bag before you go in.”

When we had planned our second trip to Copenhagen, I hadn’t thought of going to the Dansk Jødisk Museum, the Danish Jewish Museum—I didn’t even know that it existed. But it turned out that the fifth-floor apartment I’d rented for our week-long stay in the Norrebro neighborhood overlooked a beautiful, old Jewish cemetery from the 17th century. The first time I stood on the apartment’s balcony, I noticed that in the shade of several very tall, slender trees, there was a cemetery, not the park I had expected. It looked wild and untended, with countless worn, old gravestones of varying sizes, some standing straight up, some crooked, and others lying completely flat, all surrounded by lush, flowering summer weeds. And at the opposite end of the cemetery from our apartment, there was an old brick wall that had a small gate in it. The sense of death, of life, and of history all together left me with a quiet feeling of awe.

However, I hadn’t even realized that Jews had lived in Denmark since the 17th century, and now it turned out there had been enough Jews in Denmark to fill up a cemetery. But, of course, Jews went everywhere, didn’t they? Wandering Jews, they called us in the 19th century because we were always looking for ways to escape oppression, persecution, and violence—always searching for places we could call home. That was what became the “Jewish Question.”

But even after exploring the cemetery itself, which was founded in 1694 and was 13,500 square meters with around 5,500 burials, and then reading up on the history of Jews in Denmark, I was left with many questions.

My husband, Brad, was also intrigued. So, when I told him I discovered in my online searches that there was a Jewish museum in central Copenhagen, he immediately said, “Let’s go!”

It took us a while to find the museum because it was, to our surprise, part of the complex of old buildings surrounding the Royal Palace and the entrance was through a very small contemporary addition to a larger old building. When we walked through the front door into the museum’s lobby, there was just one person sitting at the reception desk and we were the only visitors in the room. The receptionist spoke perfect English, but she was very Danish-looking—blond, blue-eyed, and with Scandinavian features—so she was clearly not someone who shared my heritage.

After we bought out tickets, the receptionist asked us whether we wanted to use one of the lockers before we went into the museum. When we said no, she searched my very small handbag.

The receptionist apologized again after I showed her the sunglasses, sunscreen, lipstick, tissues, and charge cards that I had tucked into my little cross-body bag.

“I understand,” I said. “I’m Jewish so I appreciate you being careful.” Still a wave of unease washed over me at the thought that even here in Copenhagen—where everyone seemed so civilized, so very nice—extra security was needed at any place that was “Jewish.”

When we walked through the doorway into the museum proper, we entered a very unusual space. Although the outer shell of the building, which was originally the Royal Boat House from the 17th century, had brick walls, large arched windows, and vaulted ceilings, the interior was very modern and untraditional. The inner, white paneled walls were tilted and asymmetrical, and they seem to be arranged in some kind of labyrinth. And the wooden floors that guided visitors to the exhibits embedded in the walls were sloping instead of flat. Altogether, the design left me feeling tipsy and off balance.

Then, we noticed a very odd little display that had video images of Jewish people projected into a small model of a two-story house and a companion audio track promising a brief history of 400 years of Jewish life in Denmark, starting with the arrival of the very first Jewish merchants back in 1622. So we sat down together and put on the headphones. And as soon as I heard the narrator begin with these questions — Where are you going? Are you going home? Where is home? I started to cry.

At first, I felt embarrassed about the tears flowing down my cheeks, but then I thought fuck it, it’s a Jewish museum and I’m Jewish, and if I fucking feel like crying I’ll fucking cry even if I have no idea why. My sorrow felt so primal, triggered instantly from somewhere deep inside me.

As I continued listening to the audio presentation and watching the display, I calmed down. Most of what the presentation covered was information I was already familiar with by then—how the first Jews in Denmark were Sephardic merchants invited by Denmark’s King Christian IV to settle in a new town, Glückstadt, on the river Elbe, in the early 17th century. The story is that King Christian thought that having Jewish merchants living in his new town would bring more business to the community. Later Ashkenazi Jews, like the Jews I’m descended from, also joined the Sephardic merchants.

I even laughed to myself when I saw the video images of actors playing early Jewish merchants in their storehouse with bags of coffee beans and chocolate. Ah hah! I thought. They tolerated the Jewish traders because they wanted all that good stuff those Jews knew how to obtain. But then they showed a short scene illustrating how the Jews back then had to practice their religion in secret, hidden behind drawn curtains and closed doors in their own houses. It turned out that the dispensation made for the Jews by King Christian only included protection, the right to hold “private religious services,” and the right to maintain their own cemetery. I quickly realized that being “tolerated” and “protected” was not the same as being an equal member of Danish society. Same old, same old, I thought.

Eventually, though, in the late 18th century, the King expanded the rights of Danish Jews, allowing them to buy real estate, establish schools, study at the university, and join guilds. Then, finally, a royal decree on March 29, 1814 granted the Jewish people the same rights as other citizens. In contrast, the Russian Empire, where all four of my grandparents were born and where they were restricted to living within the Pale of Settlement, never granted citizenship to the Jews who lived within its borders.

However, for various reasons—the Danish government restricting immigration to people who had money, Danish Jews intermarrying with Danish Christians—the population of Jews in Denmark during the 400 years after they first arrived remained fairly small. And now the population was only about 6,000.

After the presentation was over, we walked through the rest of the museum, which was dedicated to the more recent history of the Jews in Denmark, especially during World War II. We learned that the walls inside the museum were carefully arranged in form of the four Hebrew letters that spelled mitzvah, which is the Hebrew word for “commandment” and also for “good deeds” that fulfill a religious commandment.

The mitzvah that the museum was designed to reflect was the aid the Danish people gave to their Jewish neighbors, over 7,000 in total, during the Nazi invasion, when they helped almost of all them to escape on boats to Sweden, which was neutral during the World War II. Later, after the war was over, almost all the Jewish refugees returned to Denmark, though some then emigrated to Israel, the United Kingdom, and the United States. That’s why Denmark had the highest survival rate of Jewish people of any country invaded by the Germans: 95 percent. And two of the people who were saved from the Nazis became well-known public figures. Danish physicist Niels Bohr, whose mother was Jewish, was one of the early refugees who fled to Sweden, and, after he himself evacuated, he helped arrange the mass rescue of over 7,000 Danish Jews. And Arne Jacobsen, an architect and mid-century modern Danish designer, escaped on a small boat to Sweden and spent his two years there creating fabric designs based on Swedish nature. After he returned to Copenhagen, he became world renowned for both his famous buildings, such as The Stelling House and Aarhaus City Hall, and for his designs of everyday objects, including his iconic Egg chair. He is now considered the grandfather of modern Danish design.

This, I knew, was in stark contrast to the fate of the Jews in Lithuania, the country my mother’s family was from, where the Lithuanian people aided the Nazis in exterminating their Jewish neighbors, resulting in the lowest survival rate for Jewish people out of all the countries invaded by the Germans, only 5 percent. The Nazis didn’t even need to move the Jews of Lithuania to concentration camps because the work of taking people into the woods, shooting them, and burying them in mass graves was often done by the Lithuanians themselves. And I knew too that some of my maternal grandmother’s family members who had not emigrated from Lithuania before the war, including her two brothers, Leizer and Laibl, were murdered in this exact way.

“Even though it’s still a bit weird to me to think of Jews living in Scandinavia,” I said to my husband, “They were right to come here.”

As we walked out of the museum into the sunny courtyard, I noticed that what had originally looked like an abstract sculpture outside the museum’s entrance was actually the outline of a ship. And I realized then that with its slanted, uneven floors and its angled walls, the museum had intentionally evoked in me the visceral sensations of walking on a small boat out at sea and the disorientation of a world turned upside down. Those feelings were still clinging to me.

As I found my feet again on the steady earth of the low-lying, flat city and we headed back to the apartment overlooking the old Jewish cemetery, I remembered that—come to think of it—today wasn’t the only time I had cried in a Jewish museum. The first time was in 2019 at the end of our visit to the Jewish museum in Sevilla, Spain, which we decided to visit only because it was just a couple of blocks from where we were staying, which, by chance, happened to be in the old Jewish quarter, now called Santa Cruz, adjacent to the Alcazar. The story was that the Jewish quarter was right next to the royal palace so everyone would know that Jews there were under the protection of the king.

Even though Sevilla once had the largest Jewish community in Spain (around 5,000 people, including doctors, scientists, lawyers, merchants, and money lenders) with 33 synagogues, the Centro de Interpretaction Juderia de Sevilla was small and modest—just a few window-less rooms in a very old Sephardic house. Displayed on colored walls, the exhibit was mainly a collection of manuscripts, maps, and other documents, some from the 1391 pogrom and some from the time of Spanish Inquisition, along with legends about a few of the people who had lived in the Jewish quarter before the Jews were expelled from Seville in 1483 and a small number of everyday objects they had left behind. These all just left me feeling vaguely sad. All those written explanations and stories printed on placards, and old “things” behind glass felt like tales from a distant past that had nothing to do with me. In the last room before the exit, the delicate, yellowed dress of a child who had once lived in the Jewish quarter evoked a small wave of sorrow within me but didn’t move me to tears.

However, when we followed the signs to the exit, which led us in a different direction than the entrance, we walked through a room where there were dozens of large black iron keys hanging from the ceilings on strings. Without knowing what those keys signified, I felt an upswelling of a very powerful but unnamable emotion.

“Wow,” I said to Brad, as I stopped walking and just looked up at all those keys.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s intense.”

Then, after we passed out of that final room and returned to the reception area, I asked the receptionist in English, “What is the meaning of those keys?” She explained that when the Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492, the Jews of Sevilla took their house keys with them because they hoped they’d be able to come back to their homes one day. Living in exile, they had passed those keys down to their descendants, generation after generation after generation, until now, when those very same keys were donated to the museum. And that’s when I started to cry.

When I returned to the US after visiting Copenhagen, I walked to Indian Rock in the Berkeley Hills and climbed up the steep steps that were carved into the rock to reach the top. I wanted to see the panorama that never fails to thrill me—the great San Francisco Bay shining in the sun, with Mount Tamalpais to the northwest, San Francisco to the southwest, and in between the Golden Gate, the entrance to the bay that opens out into the Pacific Ocean. “Is this my home?” I wondered. Of course, I was born in California and lived here most of my adult life, but sometimes I felt like a stranger here on the Pacific Rim, half a world away from Eastern Europe where all four of my grandparents were born. 

All those keys in the museum in Seville were so heartbreaking because of the hopes they represented—for hundreds of years, people held onto those keys on the chance that one day, someday, they might be able to use them once again to open the doors their ancestors had closed behind them when they were expelled from Spain. But I never had that kind of hope. The only relatives of my Lithuanian grandmother who survived the Holocaust were two of her sister’s children, Israel and Leah. After the war, the siblings met up in Lithuania and went back to their old house in Kudirkos Naumiestis. There they found their home was already occupied by Lithuanians who refused to leave. So Israel left for Brazil and Leah made it to Israel. Why would I ever think about going “home” to a place like that?

On the other hand, there I was at that moment on top of a large, volcanic rock on land where for six thousand years the xučyun (Chochenyo speaking Ohlone people) had lived, but which after that was claimed by Spain in 1542, and after that was owned by Mexico when it became independent in 1821, and after that was purchased from Mexico by the US after the Mexican-American war in 1848. I just looked out at the view and took it all in.

Nina Zolotow just loves to write, and she has been doing it for her entire adult life. Currently she is writing creative non-fiction and experimental fiction/poetry, which you can find on her blog Delusiastic!, where there is both brand new and older works, and you can also subscribe to her on Substack, where she is releasing one story a week. Nina has also written or co-written four books on yoga (see yogafortimesofchange.comas well as being the Editor in Chief and writer for the Yoga for Healthy Aging blog for 12 years. Before that there was 20 years of writing instructional manuals for the software industry, including many books for programmers. And somewhere in there was an MFA from San Francisco State in Creative Writing. All of that taught her how to write simply and clearly when needed but also to go crazy with words when that seems right. 

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I Cannot Scrub Your Blood from My Bones

by Barbara Krasner (Somerset, NJ)

Deep within my marrow

flows my DNA, your blood,

your ambitions, your regrets,

your aches, your pains, your nightmares.

Deep within my memory

I call up your shtetl, its fields,

thatched roofs, unnamed streets.

Bold numbers nailed to door jambs,

revealing the town plan. Deep within

this hiccup murmurs your Galician dialect

of southeastern Poland, the bleats 

of goats, the shofar during High Holy Days.

Deep within the walls of the stucco homes

childbirth cries. Deep within

the burrows of the streets resounds the beat

of hobnailed boots and rapid gunfire.

You weren’t there during the invasions.

You weren’t there for mobile killing squads.

You weren’t there during deportations.

But you experienced it all the same,

just as I did. 

Barbara Krasner holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a PhD in Holocaust & Genocide Studies (HGS) from Gratz College, where she teaches in the HGS graduate programs. The author of two poetry chapbooks and three novels in verse, her work has appeared in Jewish Literary Journal, Tiferet, Minyan, Jewishfiction.net, Michigan Quarterly Review, and elsewhere. She serves as Director, Mercer County (NJ) Holocaust, Genocide & Human Rights Education Center.

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Coyotes Howl at the Moon

by Julie Potiker (San Diego, CA)

Full moon, suspended in vast darkness,

a silent witness to the suffering

and devastation on earth. 

Beings throughout time searching the night sky — 

full moon in winter, whirling wind moon, hard moon,

cold moon, wolf moon —  tribes using language,

claiming the moon as their own. 

Tonight the coyotes are howling outside my window.

Haunting Coyote Moon. 

Are the hostages in Gaza able to glimpse

the moon tonight? Or are they deep

in underground terror tunnels,

not knowing day from night?

The citizens of Gaza,

mourning their dead,

and rubble of their lives,

under the same moon.

Death Moon, that’s what I imagine

both tribes would call this moon tonight.

Death Moon in Israel.

Death Moon in Gaza. 

Would that they could see

the human in each set of eyes. 

The coyotes outside my windows tonight

are howling at the moon, the Death Moon.

I pray that by the next full moon,

the bloodshed is slowed to a trickle. 

May that be a moon of shared pain,

shared resilience, the slow road

to healing catastrophic trauma

in both tribes, indigenous in the land.

A Hope Moon.

May it be so. 

Julie Potiker, a former attorney, is a friend of animals and the earth, a certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher, and founder of the Balanced Mind Meditation Center in La Jolla, California. She is a member of the teaching team at UCSD Center for Mindfulness. Her published books are Life Falls Apart But You Don’t Have To: mindful methods for staying calm in the midst of chaos, andSNAP! From Chaos to Calm, both available on Amazon and Audible. Her upcoming book is a poetry collection of mindfulness poems. She lives in San Diego, California. Visit her website to learn more about her and her work: https://mindfulmethodsforlife.com

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An Odyssey to Auschwitz

 by Cara Erdheim Kilgallen (Trumbull, CT)

I entered the gruesome gates of Auschwitz on a recent journey to Poland with my parents and husband.  Half-way through our guided tour, my stoic husband Bill turned to me and said, “I feel like throwing up.”  

The humid June air did not help our collective nausea.  As the sun beat down upon our shoulders, the four of us toured two of the darkest death camps from history and witnessed true Holocaust horror.

As a Jew with family members who perished in the Shoah, I had always felt determined to visit Auschwitz.  My eighty-three-year-old Dad, a Jewish former Marine who proudly wears a Star of David that says, “never again,” came along.  So did my mom, a seventy-seven-year-old dynamo who has worked as a psychoanalyst with Holocaust victims and their children.  Bill, my Catholic husband, wanted to experience history and planned the entire trip.  It had been on our bucket list for sure.

We began with Auschwitz, designed initially as barracks for the Polish Army, and then moved onto the darkest death and extermination site, Birkenau.  The structures at Auschwitz still stood, but they somehow didn’t feel real and the buildings almost resembled college dorms from the outside.  When I walked inside, the death site became more palpable.  Hairbrushes, belts, shirts, toothbrushes, and other discarded items from various victims highlighted the utter inhumanity of it all.  We began the brief bus ride to Birkenau, the neighboring camp, which was worse.

“Brace yourselves,” warned our guide Chris.  This next site will be tougher to take.”

“More difficult than this?” I asked incredulously while thinking about the gas showers we had just seen.

“Sadly, yes,” Chris responded.

Birkenau, the adjoining death camp to Auschwitz, made us all even sicker.  

As Bill and I stood in shock staring at the piles of wood upon which victims slept, Chris explained how those on the top bunks often bled onto those below.  The prisoners slept in old horse barns, each one of them containing hundreds of innocent human beings.  I wondered if they received blankets in winter and learned that groups of twelve or so sleepers were sometimes allowed one small sheet.  We stood inside these cramped quarters, which smelled like death.

My shock and sorrow manifested in an intense back pain that I had never felt before.  There was no place to sit on our three hour walk through dark dungeons and barren barracks.  Feeling too guilty to rest amidst all of the documented human suffering that we witnessed, I tried to stretch out my back as the tour guide led us into a room filled with children’s shoes displayed in a large case secure behind a glass wall.

Until this point, I had not cried at all, perhaps out of sheer shock; however, as the mother of a toddler, I could not contain myself at this point and my eyes filled with tears.  I thought instantly about my daughter, back home in the United States with excellent caregivers, and juxtaposed this privilege against the extreme evils.  The Nazis robbed every ounce of innocence from these young lives, for no reason other than their difference, which most often was their Jewish identity.  

We learned about the pride that those running the camp took in exterminating as many victims as possible.  Chris told us that the Nazis viewed destruction as economic productivity and recorded their killings with precise record keeping.  Furthermore, so many corporations profited from this loss.  Human hair from the deceased was used for clothing, and gold teeth were removed from mouths of the dead.  

Survivor and author Eli Wiesel has written and spoken poetically about the overwhelming silence at Auschwitz.  I felt this quiet all throughout our visit, and my normally inquisitive self held most of my questions until the end.

“As we conclude our journey today, I would like to leave space and time for questions,” Chris kindly offered as though he sensed my overwhelming curiosity and that of my mother the psychologist.  

“Have you encountered any Holocaust denial in any of your visitors?” My Mom jumped in almost immediately.

“Just once,” Chris responded.  “A man on one of my tours questioned why a picture contained no chimney smoke and claimed that this absence meant no gas chambers.  I countered him immediately with the truth that this very photo had documented a factory in Krakow, not the death camp, which contained countless ashes and human remains as evidence.”

I marveled at Chris’s calmness, intelligence, and sensitivity.  He explained that he and his wife had met giving tours at Auschwitz and felt more determined than ever to educate their young children on these historic atrocities.

“Although it would have made our commute to work easier, we stopped short of moving closely to the camps,” Chris emphasized when I remarked about the tennis courts down the road.  “We want them to be Holocaust aware, but having our home on site was too close for comfort.”

“Of course,” we all responded, and then discussed the clear contrast between Chris’ humane response with that of the Nazi Commander who chose to live and raise his family, children playing in the yard and all, on top of the gas chambers.

My family and I left the site of Holocaust horror, and immediately saw a woman run to the bathroom to vomit.  The one silver lining was that others had felt touched and moved by this experience.  They recognized and respected the most profoundly painful parts of human history.

How could I not have journeyed here before?  Why did it take my Catholic husband to plan such a trip for my Jewish parents and me?  My Mother had travelled with a friend twenty-five years ago to Auschwitz, but she has always felt determined to return with family.  

Bill, who had felt profoundly moved by reading Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning at his Catholic high school, made it happen.  A survivor of multiple concentration camps, Frankl founded Logotherapy after his entire family perished in the Holocaust; he spent his life empowering others to discover purpose within their own lives. 

My intergenerational Odyssey to Auschwitz and Birkenau has strengthened an interfaith marriage, solidified firm family bonds, and made each moment of life feel all the more meaningful and precious.

Cara Erdheim Kilgallen is a mother, an author, an academic, an athlete, and a professor who truly treasures family and friendship.  She is dedicated to teaching literature and writing, as well as a lifelong ice skater and someone who is deeply passionate about sport (particularly tennis and golf).  Raised culturally Jewish, Cara deeply values her roots and embraces Judaism as foundational to the Judeo-Christian tradition and beyond.  She hopes for more interfaith and intercultural dialogue.  Cara hopes that through Jewish storytelling, this piece speaks to the horrors of all human suffering, which the world sadly has far too much of at present.

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I Heard My Grandparents’ Voices

By Esther Munshine (Great Neck, NY)

My grandparents stared from the portrait

Hanging on the wall — dead eyes, expressionless

I used to fantasize that they were somewhere 

Still out in the world, lost, but rescued at the

End of the war, not murdered horrifically, lost in

The mingled ashes at the hell that was Auschwitz

I dreamt that they were survivors who would

Miraculously be found so we could be reunited

Leave it alone! My hope was the naivete of a child

And then the discovery more than half a century later,

My mother’s papers:

Letters from Vienna during the war from

My grandparents to their children and a brother and 

Two sisters caring for my mother’s 

Mother — a tragic figure old and lost

My great-grandmother, an invalid with no words

She couldn’t speak English and I am

Not sure she even knew where she was

From my mother’s closet, several letters from

Her parents, hidden from us in her lifetime

Being read at our behest

In the vocally halting translation by a woman who

Struggled to decode the high German no longer in use

I heard the voices of my grandparents trying to

Encourage the Jewish children they had sent to the safety

Of loving arms in America

They spoke, sending regards to other relatives and friends

I knew well

Having grown up with — making my family suddenly full

Our two central figures included

Finally, part of me in a way that I could keep them forever

They had saved me too by sending their children 

To America…

But they were hiding behind window shades

In their once comfortable Vienna apartment

In terror they were suppressing while making small

Talk about daily life revealing true devotion to 

Each other and their children — hoping to be saved

Knowing they would do what they could to survive

Even as the chessboard of history was countering

Their moves, it was too strong

They used parental injunctions to their boy and girl

To behave and study well and to thrive

And there I sat and met my grandparents who were

Calmly discussing their household management

One time as if at a séance with spiritual intervention

Their tones alive with love; it was in that fractured moment

As if my dream had come true if only for that one–time

Visit — as if they had been merely misplaced in the fog of war —

As if they had survived

Esther Munshine started teaching when she was 20. Her career spanned 50 years, with a generous interruption to raise her family. In 2019, she began writing poems in earnest.  During the pandemic, she met online regularly with other writers sharing their work, safely at a distance. She was an invited featured poet to the second annual National Baseball Poetry Festival in Worcester, Massachusetts in 2024, where she read “Take Me Out” and “First Baseball Game for First Grandson”. “I Heard My Grandparents Voices” is an experience that their grand-daughter is still processing and she appreciates having the chance to share that experience with the community in the Jewish Writing Project. If you’d like to read more of the Esther’s work, visit: https://www.baseballbard.com and Reflections in Poetry and Prose 2023 https://www.uft.org/chapters/retired-teachers-chapter/retiree-programs/reflections-poetry-and-prose

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R.I.P. Clifton Jewish Center

by Sue Macy (Englewood, NJ)

This is a different sort of obituary, not for a person, but a place. The synagogue I grew up in, the Clifton Jewish Center of Clifton, N.J., held its last Shabbat services on December 21, 2024. The building is being repurposed to become a cheder for Orthodox girls. With the original members gone and their descendants moving away, the Center—the last Conservative shul in town—closed its doors.

It was founded in the late 1940s by nine young men who had gone to Clifton High School together. My parents joined the Center in the early 1950s. I went to Sunday School and Hebrew School there, and had my bat mitzvah. It was not just a place of worship, but of community. My mom joined Hadassah through the Center. My dad was on the temple board.

We had the same rabbi, Dr. Eugene Markovitz, for 52 of the Center’s 75 years. He was an Orthodox rabbi in a Conservative shul, which meant women didn’t have aliyot while he was in charge. It forever irked my feminist soul, but the rabbi had more depth than my younger self gave him credit for. In 1988, Rabbi Markovitz intervened when four local boys painted anti-Semitic graffiti on the temple building. Instead of allowing them to be sent to juvenile detention, he convinced the judge to sentence them to 25 hours of education about Judaism, with him, and 30 hours of helping around the synagogue. CBS made a “Schoolbreak Special” about the incident. Hal Linden played the rabbi.

Although I moved out of Clifton decades ago, I continued to attend High Holiday services with my family. After my dad died, my mom and brother and I went. After my mom died, my brother and I just kept going. But as the congregation shrank, the signs of decline were unmistakable. We no longer had a cantor. Israel Bonds luminaries stopped coming to give High Holiday presentations, hoping for lucrative investments. Eventually, we had no more bond drives at all. There was a time when the temple had to put hundreds of chairs in the adjacent ballroom to fit all those coming for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services. Lately, the ballroom remained empty and unused.

I know that times change. I write books about history and intellectually I can place the geographic movements of the Jewish people in historical context. With affluence, many of the Jewish families in Clifton moved to wealthier suburbs. Still, it’s hard not to feel a personal loss with the closing of the Center. It makes accessing the feelings and experiences from my past that much harder. It also raises questions about my Jewish identity that until now, I haven’t had to answer. What kind of synagogue do I want to join? Where do I go from here? 

Ironically, the last services at the Center attracted the largest Shabbat crowd in years. People like me, whose parents lived their lives in the community, came from near and far to be there one more time. It was a fitting tribute to a place that truly had been the Center of our lives.

Sue Macy is the author of 18 books for children and young adults including The Book Rescuer: How a Mensch From Massachusetts Saved Yiddish Literature for Generations to Come, winner of the Sydney Taylor Picture Book Award. She lives in Englewood, New Jersey, and can be found on Instagram @suemacy1 or through her website, suemacy.com.

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Our 35th Wedding Anniversary

by Julie Potiker (Sun Valley, ID)

Crammed onto a street corner in Ketchum, Idaho 

Across the street from the huge bronze moose

in front of Silver Creek boutique 

Draft horses pull covered wagons down Main Street 

Hands waving from wagons

Waving from horseback at the crowds 

Anticipating the arrival of the sheep

This annual event where they are the stars

Sprinting by the thousands through the streets

On this bright day–October 8th, 2023–

Eyes squinting under the brim 

of my cowboy hat

I feel disconnected

As if I might float away

Like a lost balloon

My hand in my beloved’s

keeps me tethered

to the land

Hundreds of families

Grandparents, parents, children 

Babies, fully engaged in the parade

Not noticing I’m weeping inside

How is it they are unaffected by 

The hundreds of Israeli families—grandparents, 

Parents, children, babies, butchered

burned tortured stolen raped, now at war?

On our 35th wedding anniversary 

I’m trying to hold it all — the joy and the sorrow–

Because this too is happening

This too.

Julie Potiker, a former attorney, is a friend of animals and the earth, a certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher, and founder of the Balanced Mind Meditation Center in La Jolla, California. She is a member of the teaching team at UCSD Center for Mindfulness. Her published books are Life Falls Apart But You Don’t Have To: mindful methods for staying calm in the midst of chaos, and SNAP! From Chaos to Calm, both available on Amazon and Audible. Her upcoming book is a poetry collection of mindfulness poems. She lives in San Diego, California. Visit her website to learn more about her and her work: https://mindfulmethodsforlife.com

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Baby-Boomer Blues

by Howard Wach (New York, NY)

I’m a baby-boomer, Bronx-born, a grandchild of immigrants from Poland and Lithuania, raised in a 1960s Long Island suburb, which was half Jewish and half other white ethnics, everyone newly migrated from city neighborhoods. I matured in the ‘70s, when Jew-barring (or Jew-counting) barriers collapsed across all kinds of American institutions. 

But sudden indifference to Jewish catastrophe and open Jew-hating—the post October 7 legacy—has pushed me and my boomer peers to revisit what we thought were rock-solid certainties. The last eight months changed everything.  

I’m a knowledgeable guy, a teacher, a scholar in my own modest way. But now I wonder what I’ve ever really known. History lulled me to sleep, then woke me with a klop. My everyday worries—money, family, health—have new company, a dangerous twist on the tribalism splintering our civil society. Suddenly, the hyphen connecting “Jewish-American” feels frayed, eroded, anything but certain. 

All my life that hyphen signaled a balance I had no reason to doubt. A birthright, if you will. It never felt conditional or one-sided.  

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In 1906 Shai Wach, an 18-year-old immigrant from Warsaw, arrived in New York and renamed himself Charles. Eleven years later he returned to Europe, a doughboy drafted into the 77th infantry division, the “Melting Pot” division, a polyglot mix of immigrants from lower Manhattan. Charlie fought with the Lost Battalion in the Argonne Forest and returned to New York with a fistful of medals, his patriotism signed and sealed. He marched up Fifth Avenue with his old unit every Armistice Day for decades. Growing up in the Depression-era Bronx, my father Daniel, Charlie’s older son, absorbed the lessons of those parades. 

I never heard my grandfather talk about Israel. New York was his home. The United States was his homeland, and he had the medals to prove it. But his brother perished in Auschwitz (also never discussed); his sister disappeared forever into a wartime Polish convent. I suspect that like his Workmen’s Circle comrades, he had no personal Zionist convictions but believed that the Shoah made Israel necessary. Just not for him, or for his son, or for me. 

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My father spoke more often about his World War II service as he aged. Before he became too frail to travel, he eagerly embarked on a veterans’ “Honor Flight” to visit war monuments in Washington. The day he died a biography of Churchill lay open on the magnifying reading device the VA had given him.  

I turned eighteen just as the Vietnam-era draft ended. A graduate of my high school was killed at Kent State. Some classmates sewed peace symbols on their jeans and joined antiwar protests. Others sneered at the “footprint of the American chicken” and enlisted the moment they could. My peacenik mother hated the war; my proud veteran father defended it. I didn’t know what I believed, but I acted the teenage antiwar hippie, singing along with Country Joe and the Fish and listening to Hendrix tear through the national anthem.  

It never occurred to me—or to anyone I knew—that Jewishness could have any relevance to that all-American strife. National identity was properly a civic affair. We all belonged to this country. I had no Zionist feelings, no desire to make aliyah. But I knew—even through the fog of adolescence—that Israel was a fulfillment, a source of ethnic pride heightened by the miraculous Six-Day War.  I grasped its importance and celebrated the victory, but we were Jewish Americans, secure in that solid identity, feeling no unsettling contradiction or tension. All the old barriers were falling. Wartime dissension aside, what could disturb our happy condition? 

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I have a different question now. What made me think I’d escape the history I studied and taught? I’m a lucky Jewish baby-boomer born into the post-Holocaust truce that sidetracked Jew-hating and enabled some of us to vault into corporate suites and institutional power. The truce has faltered for a while, but the October 7 aftermath blew it apart.  

We disappeared into benign, assimilated invisibility. Or so I thought. That dreamy moment in the American empire is over. The sudden disregard for Jewish lives unearthed my half-buried boomer memories: Charlie’s brutal, unspoken knowledge of genocide, my parents looking sideways at goyim, their memory of “Gentiles Only” warnings in employment and real estate ads. Blue numbers tattooed on the forearm of my friend Paul’s father. It all flooded back when I saw torn, defaced posters of Israeli hostages and heard noxious chants rising from massive rallies. I was rudely yanked back into history. 

The shock unleashed a stew of unwelcome emotions in me: anger at “progressives” who abandoned moral sense, who preach simple-minded theories of power, seduce the ignorant, and make Israel the centerpiece of global evil; anger at Israeli zealots who reinforce that corrosive lie—lunatic settlers running wild and the politicians who coddle them; fear for my children, who witness Jewishness embroiled in today’s American strife and may never recover the assurance that “Jewish-American” once meant, the hard-won allegiance my grandfather and father gifted to me. 

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In the 1980s I wrote a Ph.D dissertation at Brandeis University about civil society in nineteenth-century Britain. One day I was sitting with friends in a common room when a professor in the History Department, a brash and funny character, dropped by to share his latest insight. “Brandeis has a new theme song,” he announced, “a medley of Hatikvah and Yankee Doodle Dandy.” Then he laughed and walked away. 

Until recently the joke made playful, ironic Jewish sense. It fit perfectly at Brandeis, that model of postwar Jewish-American identity and ambition. In the last eight months I think of it more than any time in the last forty years. But its playfulness is gone, its irony soured. 

Here’s a sign of the times. Brandeis is recruiting Jewish students feeling displaced or frightened at campuses where keffiyehs are fashionable and Zionism is a seven-letter version of a four-letter word.  

That old joke isn’t funny at all anymore. 

Howard Wach is a semi-retired City University of New York academic. He’s written and published articles on educational technology and academic history in various journals, and now writes creative nonfiction and short stories. Palisades Review published his short humorous piece about not buying a time share. 

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Dancing the Night Away

by Kavita Ezekiel Mendonca (Calgary, Canada)

I was born and raised in a Bene Israeli Jewish family in Bombay, India.  The mezuzah on our door and the menorah on the shelf were to me the sweet and meaningful symbols of my Jewish identity. I lived with my paternal grandparents since the age of ten, and I loved raising my fingers to touch the mezuzah on the door of their home and bringing them in a kiss to my lips. The elders in my family explained that when I made that gesture, it meant that I was taking the name of God as I left the home and when I returned home safely. I felt protected and blessed. I didn’t know then that there was a scroll inside the mezuzah with the words of The Shema “Hear O Israel, The Lord is our God, the Lord is One,” a prayer I recited on waking each morning and going to bed at night. An aunt of mine sent me a mezuzah from Israel and even my husband who is not Jewish, never leaves the home or returns home without kissing the mezuzah. 

On that fateful Saturday in October, I happened to turn on the TV and watched in horror as a young girl, with her arms waving frantically, was calling out for help sitting sandwiched between two masked men on a motorcycle taking her away to where I had no idea at the time. They were shouting the name of their God, a chant familiar to me as there was a mosque just a few steps from my grandmother’s home in Bombay. I had grown up listening to the muezzin’s call to prayer five times a day over the loudspeaker. The neighborhood had Muslim, Christian, Parsi and Jewish families living side by side in peace and harmony. At home we were taught respect for the customs and traditions of each of the different faiths and actually took part in their celebrations. 

Continuing to watch the TV, I soon learned what had taken place and that the young girl was at a dance festival and was being taken hostage.  In Gaza and in some Muslim countries as the news of the tragic events of the day began pouring in, I watched people in the streets rejoicing, chanting the name of their God.  Soon after I saw a clip of a crowd of people marching towards the Opera House in Australia, with banners reading “Kill the Jews!!! Gas the Jews!!!” My mind at once went back to the Holocaust.  The murder of six million Jews was not enough for them. The real aim of the protestors was the annihilation of the Jews, not their support of the Palestinian people.

In India, growing up in the sixties, nobody ever mentioned the Holocaust and there never was any talk about what was happening on such a large scale to the Jewish people in Europe. The Indian Jews were free from persecution and blended in completely with the local population of India, the majority of whom are Hindu.  I entered college in my mid-teens into the Arts stream, and along with other subjects like Logic and Economics, World History was also taught. I cannot recall a single mention of the Holocaust in our textbooks. Only much later, I watched a film on the Diary of Anne Frank, and a movie called Schindler’s List. In fact, the movie had such a powerful impact on me that I watched it twice, weeping throughout the film. I prayed that there would be more ‘Schindlers’ in the world. My mother always spoke about ‘the basic goodness of mankind.’ I believed there were as many good people in the world as there were who brought harm to others.

In the seventies, a discotheque called Blow Up was located in the basement of the Taj Mahal Hotel. That name would be considered taboo in the context of today’s world. Many of my cousins were musicians and played in the bands at the disco. I loved music and loved to dance, often dancing the night away till the early hours of the morning. The waiters would toggle the lights on and off in quick succession, to signal us to leave. A cousin of mine still remembers that I did not sit out a single dance!  The next morning in college, I attended the first lecture of the day with the green eyeshadow still prominently showing up on my eyelids. Those days we didn’t have access to make up remover and the soap we used did not do a decent job! 

The murder of so many innocent young people at the Dance festival touched a deep nerve in me. I had danced freely and without fear, at so many music festivals, it was beyond belief what I was seeing.   My love of dance will forever be colored by the tragic scenes playing out on the TV screen… I was contorted, frozen in that moment, unable to move, let alone dance.

 All I could do was pray…

In a career spanning over four decades, Kavita Ezekiel Mendonca has taught English in Indian colleges, AP English in an International School nestled in the foothills of the Himalayan mountains in India, and French and Spanish in private schools in Canada. Her poems are featured in various journals and anthologies, including the Sahitya Akademi Journal Of Indian Literature, the three issues of the Yearbooks of Indian Poetry in English, Verse-Virtual, The Madras Courier, and the Lothlorien Poetry Journal, among others. Kavita has authored two collections of poetry, Family Sunday and Other Poems and Light of The Sabbath. Her poem ‘How To Light Up a Poem,’ was nominated for a Pushcart prize in 2020.  Her poems celebrate Bombay, the city of her birth, Nature, and her Bene Israel Indian Jewish heritage. She is the daughter of the late poet Nissim Ezekiel.  She currently resides in Calgary, Canada.

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Lord’s Prayer in Lebensgarten

by Miriam Bassuk (Seattle, WA)

Compassionate Listening Training 

between Germans and Jewish Americans

Lebensgarten – September 27 through October 7, 2002

Attic room full of light,

the Lord’s prayer written

in careful German letters 

on the back wall.

Vater unser im Himmel

Lebensgarten, once a munitions 

factory, now a community 

devoted to peace.

Our circle is thirty-five strong, 

half Germans, half Jews. We 

hold hands, pass the peace feather 

to speak what is most alive in us. 

Sounds of German translated to English, 

English to German. Make space for 

the wound, now layered by several 

generations, a curse that wants to be 

forgotten, yet keeps leaking out.

Together we move, the first grief cry,

afraid for so long to release it. 

Hold me sister, hold me 

brother. Embrace the child in me 

who still can’t understand.

Miriam Bassuk’s poems have appeared in Snapdragon, Between the Lines, PoetsWest Literary Journal, and 3 Elements Review. She was one of the featured poets in WA 129, a project sponsored by Tod Marshall, the Washington State poet laureate. As an avid poet, she has been charting the journey of living in these uncertain times beyond Covid.

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