Tag Archives: Jewish women

Sugar Coated 

by Marlena Maduro Baraf (White Plains, NY)                                                                                              

I am a palatable woman

I’m a palatable old

a palatable white

a palatable jew

a palatable latina 

not a palatable latina    

   too white

   too jewish

who is?

who is palatable?

sugar-coated jew

should one be

should one not pretend

should one not pretend

are you?

pre-tending

tending

under-standing

finger-licking

tooth some crone

are you?

paleta – flat on your tongue

open wide 

arghhhhh

you’re acceptable

for now

palateámosnos

pat ourselves on the back

sweetness!

pinch her cheek

engineered

to be palatable

pleasing

merely agreeable

barely tolerable

you’re ok

you’re ok

as long as

you hide 

you hide

nose 

teeth

wrinkles

don’t cackle

be a lady

mientras aquí

palatum 

roof of the mouth 

foot in roof of the mouth

– don’t gag

smile

Glossary

a paleta – a small, flat, wooden board used by doctors and nurses to press down on the tongue and look into a person’s throat.

palateámosnos – Let’s pat ourselves on the back. (usually used in a congratulatory way)

mientras aquí – while here (on this Earth)

Marlena Maduro Baraf was born and raised in Panama and left her tiny land for Los Estados Unidos when she was fifteen. She is author of the memoir At the Narrow Waist of the World.Marlena’s writing has been featured in Ms. Magazine, Lilith, The Jewish Book Council, Night Heron Barks, Poets Reading the News, and elsewhere. She writes the newsletter Breathing in Spanish, where she interviews immigrants from all walks of life. You can learn more about Marlena at:  https://breathinginspanish.substack.com/

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Filed under American Jewry, Family history, Jewish, Jewish identity, Jewish writing, Judaism, poetry

One of Job’s Daughters

by Nina Zolotow (Berkeley, CA)

I normally would have found him attractive—he was handsome and fit, and middle-aged like me—but I was walking alone down a quiet residential street, and he was following me on his bicycle saying,

“Look at you! Aren’t you sweet? You’re ethnic—look at that hair. Is that natural?”

So, instead, I felt an immediate surge of familiar fear, that same fear most women feel when a man on the street is coming on too strong. I didn’t reply to him and just kept on walking. 

The afternoon seemed absurdly beautiful, with a clear cerulean sky and golden sunlight pouring down on the Sycamore trees and the big old houses with their lush spring gardens. Then I noticed another man—he was sitting on a chair on his front porch watching the two of us—and I heard him call out,

“Hey!”

Hearing his voice partly reassured me because I no longer felt alone, but it also confirmed my fear that maybe there really was something unsafe about my situation. The man on the bicycle kept on following me, and now he said, 

“You’re either Mediterranean or Hebrew—am I right?”

Then my heart stopped cold because this was the first time in my life a stranger had approached me on the street wondering if I was Jewish. I wasn’t even sure what it meant that he was doing it, especially because the man asking me was Black. And then the other man, who was still sitting on his front porch, called out again,

“Hey!”

while I kept on walking and saying nothing. But even with the man on the porch yelling at him, the man on the bicycle pulled up alongside of me and looked into my face. Then, sounding pleased, he said,

“You’re ethnic, all right. You’re one of Job’s daughters, aren’t you?”

One of Job’s daughters? Was that his Biblical way of saying he was sure I was Jewish? Or did he mean something else by that? In the Old Testament, Job’s daughters were the beautiful ones—the most beautiful in all the land. 

Of course, I knew by then that there were some men who particularly favored Jewish women. “They’re sexy,” they would say, “spoiled little Jewish-American Princesses, but sexy and intelligent.” Or, as a Chinese-American man I used to know once said to me, “They’re all the fun of a woman of color but with the skin color of a white woman.” 

But whether calling me one of Job’s daughters was meant to be a compliment or not, it was extra scary having a man add this “you’re a Jew” thing to the typical harassment of a woman walking down the street thing.

Since the man on the porch—a white man, who looked on the younger side—had not bothered to get up from his chair despite his yelling, I quickly thought about how I might extricate myself from this situation. I said,

“I’m sorry, but I’m on way to see the doctor.”

The man on the bicycle then changed his tone, saying, with concern,

“Oh, are you sick?”

Even though I was just headed to an annual checkup, I said,

“Yes. Yes, I’m sick.”

After that he turned his bicycle around and cycled away from me, back in the direction we had both come from, leaving me alone.

When I entered the doctor’s office a few minutes later, I asked the receptionist if I could borrow a pen and paper because while I waited for my appointment I wanted to write down everything that had just happened. 

I never wanted to forget that if something like that—being harassed on the street because I looked “Hebrew”—could happen to me in my hometown, one of the most progressive communities in the United States, Berkeley, California, it could happen anywhere.

Nina Zolotow just loves to write, and she has been doing it for her entire adult life. Currently she is writing creative non-fiction and experimental fiction/poetry, which you can find on her blog Delusiastic!, which has both brand new and older works. She has also written or co-written four books on yoga (seeyogafortimesofchange.com) as well as being the Editor in Chief and writer for the Yoga for Healthy Aging blog for 12 years. Before that there was 20 years of writing instructional manuals for the software industry, including many books for programmers. And somewhere in there was an MFA from San Francisco State in Creative Writing. All of that taught her how to write simply and clearly when needed but also to go crazy with words when that seems right. 

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Queen for a Day

by Herbert J. Levine (Sarasota, FL)

My grandmother loved to watch Queen for a Day, 

listening to each woman tell her sad story,

until they placed the crown on the winner’s head.

The American competitors needed washing machines.

My grandmother needed only her husband,

dead for more than twenty years.

How many separations she’d endured 

in the years when, with trumpet calls, he’d rallied the Czar’s troops 

against Japanese and Germans, 

the years he’d peddled door to door in New England towns,

while she ran a market-day saloon 

for the drunken farmers

and when he sent the money to buy tickets

having to separate from her mother, 

who would one day be killed by Hitler’s villains, 

also from her youngest brother and his wife, 

who left their baby girl with a Gentile family,

dying to save their comrades. 

If she could once have spoken of these things, 

she might have broken down at last and wept

not as queen for a day, but as mother of all our catastrophes.

“Queen for a Day” is from Herbert Levine’s second book of bi-lingual poems, An Added Soul: Poems for a New Old Religion (2020).  Many of the poems in his first book of poems, Words for Blessing the World (2017) are being used liturgically in a variety of congregations. He divides his time between Sarasota, FL and central Maine, where he and Ellen Frankel have three granddaughters.

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Assimilation

by Jennifer A. Minotti (Cambridge, MA)

Looking back, my Ethiopian orphaned daughter acclimated fairly quickly to our life in Vermont, set amid colorful foliage and our blue-blooded friends. Surely, once she got situated, she started to protest her differences, but that was to be expected. First, she attempted to scrub off her dark skin in the bathtub, like filth. Next, she objected to her new name, one I gave her in honor of my deceased Russian grandmother, not hers. Finally, she took to imitating her older brother, perceiving him as Golden Child in biological position and genetic makeup. She was probably right. Yet over time, I don’t know how long, I think she finally accepted her fate and her dissimilarities. Adopted. Black. Girl. Later, she would come to appreciate her rightful position in our family as Daughter. Sister. Loved.  

I, on the other hand, never fully reintegrated into this patrician town after the week I spent in Africa. Quail eggs and Prosecco were no longer palatable. I, too, had been forced to assimilate at an early age. Growing up, I wasn’t told to assimilate, but it was implied. We were already different in our predominantly small, Catholic town. Jewish. Divorced. Female.

“Don’t tell anyone your father left,” my Holocaust-surviving mother implored. And so I didn’t. I lied, mostly to deceive myself. I worked hard. I became Successful. Happy. Envied. I Fit In.

So I reminded my daughter, nearly every night, not to shove when she ate. “Slow down,” I would say, tasting sourness in the back of my throat. I repeated this mostly because it was simply good etiquette. But really it was because I didn’t want her to feel different. Second-rate. Dirty, which was her perception, not mine. I wanted her to Fit In. I repeated that she had to do better, be better, because she was Black. Jewish. Female. I thought, I’m giving her good advice.

Except that I hated always trying to fit in. Still do. I feel trapped by assimilation, a rigged system anyway. I feel asphyxiated by my own accomplishments because, no matter how much I achieve, people still see me as Jewish. Female. Why not claim my Jewishness, I ask myself. My Femaleness. Why struggle to Fit In to a male, Christian-dominated system that will never fully admit me anyway?

Which is why I change my mind. I decide I need to claim my differences and so does my daughter. I need to break the cycle of assimilation in our family, because it doesn’t work anyway. I now tell my daughter, Stay true to Yourself. You’re Gorgeous as you are. Love your Beautiful Black Skin. Be proud of your Multiple Identities. I tell my daughter these things, not just because it’s good parenting, but also for its truth. I repeat these things daily, because after years of conformity I, too, need to hear them.

Jennifer A. Minotti is an Artist in Residence at the Center for Women’s Health and Human Rights at Suffolk University and a PhD candidate at Lesley University.  She is the Founder of the Women’s Writing Circle and is the Co-Creator of The World’s Very First Gratitude Parade. A graduate of Boston University (B.S.) and Columbia University (M.A., M.Ed), she is a descendant of the famous Soloveitchik rabbinic dynasty. She lives in Cambridge, MA with her family, where she studies Judaism weekly with her Partner in Torah.

 

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