by Theresa Werba (Spring City, PA)
Oh God, I am so afraid.
The future looms before me, unknown.
I fear what I do not know,
cannot know.
I fear your power over my fate.
You’re going to judge me, so I must speak of the
sacred power of this day.
I pray for mercy and truth,
because you are the judge
who knows, and sees all.
What will you write, and seal?
How will you record, and count?
What will you remember, of all
I have forgotten?
I love books, but the Book of Remembrance
I fear, as it reads itself aloud.
What will I hear?
What has my hand signed?
The sound of remembrance!
The shofar— loud, penetrating,
piteous, strong, strange,
elemental, earthy, and
yet of spirit— but within myself
will I hear your still, small voice?
Will I rush forth with angels,
seized with trembling and terror
as they proclaim, “Behold, The Day of Judgment”?
Will I be judged as angels?
Will you judge me as a shepherd does
his sheep, passing, counting, numbering,
decreeing my living soul, my nefesh,
its destiny?
B’Rosh Hashanah yikateivun,
Uv’Yom Tzom Kippur yechateimun.
Oh righteous God,
will I live? Will I die?
Do I have an appointed time?
Will I drown? Will fire consume me?
Will I be stabbed? Will an animal destroy me?
Will I starve? Will I die of thirst?
Will the earth shake? Will malady decimate me?
Will I be stoned? Or burned?
Will life be peaceful, or will I suffer more?
Will I be poor, or rich?
Will I be brought low, or raised up?
I worry about all these things, and yet,
You give me some control over my fate,
because I can turn to you, pray to you,
and do good in the world,
wherein you may alter the course,
alleviate the punishment,
change the decree of my future.
And so I stand, expectantly,
in the New Year,
knowing that I have atoned,
trusting in your judgments,
though I do not understand them, or you, or why.
And I try to be less afraid of the future.
B’Rosh Hashanah yikateivun,
Uv’Yom Tzom Kippur yechateimun.
Theresa Werba is the author of eight books, including What Was and Is: Formal Poetry and Free Verse (Bardsinger Books, 2024), Finally Autistic: Finding My Autism Diagnosis as a Middle-Aged Female (Bardsinger Books, 2024) and Sonnets, a collection of 65 sonnets (Shanti Arts, 2020). Her work has appeared in such journals as The Scarlet Leaf Review, The Wilderness House Literary Review, Spindrift, Mezzo Cammin, The Wombwell Rainbow, Fevers of the Mind, The Art of Autism, Serotonin, The Road Not Taken, and the Society of Classical Poets Journal. Her work ranges from forms such as the ode and sonnet to free verse, with topics ranging from neurodivergence, love, loss, aging, to faith and disillusionment and more. She also has written on adoption and abuse/domestic violence. Werba is the joyful mother of six children and grandmother to seven. Theresa holds a Master of Music with distinction in voice pedagogy and performance from Westminster Choir College and is known for her dramatic poetry readings. She is a member of Beth Israel Congregation in Eagle, Pennsylvania where she will be singing “Aveinu, Malkeinu” for the high holidays.
You can find more about Theresa Werba and her work at www.theresawerba.com and on social media and YouTube @thesonnetqueen.
The Jewish Writing Project 